Impatience, Unhappiness, Superfoods and Facebook

I know my journey would never be easy and fast, but I'm starting to feel impatient that my destination seems a long way away, almost out of reach. One of my major obstacles in reaching Enlightenment is coping with my day to day life and the people I meet. Over the past week I have been finding it difficult to relax and accept what is happening, even my meditation isn't helping and I am struggling with that.

Recently, I have been letting friends, family and strangers upset me too much and this is bringing me down, almost to the point I was at the beginning of the year. I am going to have to be more disciplined when it comes to my meditation, as I have been a bit lapse with it lately and this is probably why I'm feeling so low. I am also not sleeping again and this is making me more tired through the day.

As a result of almost falling asleep in work and wanting to spend the entire weekend in bed, I am trying to overcome my lack of energy by improving my diet and eating more "Superfoods." I have bought a packet of Super-Formula +plus - a 100% natural food supplement consisting of vitamins, minerals and phytonurients. It's ingredients are organic pre-sprouted barley, organic barley grass, organic wheatgrass, Hawaiian spirulana pacifica and organic acerola. When mixed with oat milk (a drink I really enjoy over cereal as an alternative to cow's milk) it makes a horrible looking green drink, but it does actually taste better than what it looks. Lets hope it works.

I have also been posting on Facebook occasionally about how I feel and I also do like to leave comments in response to my 'friends' status updates or posts the leave. This is normally quite fun and relaxing, but as soon as you leave a comment someone disagrees with then it goes from being just a bit of fun to something more serious and even upsetting. I do enjoy posting messages and photos on Facebook and reading comments left by other people, it can also be a nice little tool to find out what's going on and arrange meeting with friends and associates. If used correctly it can be fun and informative. But lately I have felt it has been too much of a distraction along my path (the Noble Eightfold Path) as I  have been letting certain comments upset me too much, so as a result I have now deactivated my account.

Maybe in the future when I am more relaxed and at peace with myself and the world, I might reactivate my account. But at the moment I am having enough trouble coping with the 'real' world and I don't need any more hasle from the 'virtual' world of Facebook. "We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves", quote from Dalai Lama, also:

I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. In my own limited experience I have found that the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the principal source of success in life. Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. The key is to develop inner peace.

As a result, I am going to focus on receiving happiness and peace when I meditate.

Peace and happiness to you all.
Stephen

Buddhism and Sri Chinmoy

May - September 2010

As my meditation progressed and improved during the mindfulness meditation course, I was interested in taking my meditation further and exploring new ways of meditating. I instantly thought of Buddhism and started reading about this and the life of Buddha. I also bought a A Simple Path by the Dalai Lama to read up on his teachings about Buddhism.

Reading about the life and philosophies of the Buddha was extraordinary and made me realise that maybe this is what I have been searching for all my life. The whole concept behind Buddhism, the peace, loving-kindness and acceptance of everyone no matter what race, creed or religion was what I have been striving for. Having been brought up a Christian, firstly Church in Wales and then Catholic, I found this too restrictive and a lot of so called Christians I've met who do go to church do not necessarily practice what they preach. Also, too many wars have been fought in the name of religion and I was getting fed up with it.

Buddhism I discovered was different. It is all about peace, acceptance and non-violence. So towards the end of my meditation course with Vicki, I went in search of another meditation group to join, something to allow me to take my meditation that one step closer to enlightenment. It's during my search I came across a little card in Halcyon Daze on Wellfield Road, Cardiff advertising this free meditation group in the Temple of Peace in Cardiff. My wife suggested I go along to try it out and that's where I fist met Charana who was giving talks about Sri Chinmoy and meditation. This new path began for me on 10th May, 2010 on a Monday night.

This was a more spiritual path and form of meditation than I was use to and thought that maybe it was not for me. But I went back for a few more weeks, listened to more of his talks and started practising this form of meditation. As the weeks progressed I started getting a greater sense of peace and joy from meditation. I have now been reading a couple of books by Sri Chimnoy about his philosophies, teachings and his meditation techniques and it has been quite inspiring. I did not realise I could have this much love and happiness in my life, but as a result of the meditation I am now enjoying my life.

Sri Chinmoy, who sadly passed away in October 2007, was an Indian spiritual teacher and philosopher who emigrated to the U.S. in 1964. His teachings emphasize love for God, daily meditation on the heart, service to the world, and religious tolerance (a view that "all faiths" are essentially divine) (quote from Wikipedia). This is very similar to the Buddhism philosphy about tolerance and acceptance, also peace and love towards all things.

For proof of how far I progressed, at the end of August I went and stayed with my wife's parents and normally I feel so uncomfortable staying with them and I tended to isolate myself from them. This time it was different. I actually felt happy, calm and relaxed and really enjoyed my time with them. My wife's mother even commented to her how different I was, that I seemed more happy and joined in with them more. Normally when I visit them I can't wait to leave and come home, but this time I was upset that I had to come home. So, there is something in this meditation that is helping me.

I have now been going to the group on a Monday, meditating on Sri Chinmoy with Charana (my teacher) and his wife Prabhavati. I still have a long way to go, but what an experience I've had so far. I have also had my downs as well us my ups, sometimes doubting if the meditation is worth it and if it is actually making a difference, and I'm still finding it difficult putting everything I've learnt so far into practice. It takes a lot of commitment to continue with the meditation, but I now have a goal and sense of purpose, so I can ride out the bad days as I know they will improve.

Now you're up to date with my progress so far, I will try and add regular posts to keep you informed on how I'm progressing.

Peace, love and happiness to you all,

Stephen

Next: Ups & Downs, Sleeplessness, Anger, Alcohol and Eating Meat