Showing posts with label Sri Chinmoy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sri Chinmoy. Show all posts

Friday, 27 May 2011

Running Again :-)

Just to recap, I started running back in May 2001 were I trained for Cardiff Marathon in September that year. Training went well and I completed the marathon in a respectable time of 3 hours 38 minutes, if I remember right. Since then I went on to run quite a few other marathons, half marathon and shorter races but never beating my time I set in Cardiff marathon. My best time for a half marathon was 1 hour 34 minutes.

I finally managed to gain entry into London Marathon in 2006 by running for Ty Hafan children hospice. I was hoping to run faster than 3 hours 30 minutes and beat my PB, but it never happened. At 13 miles I was on target for 3:30 but by about 20 miles I started to flag, but thanks to the cheers of the crown, I half ran, half hobbled the final 6 miles and still finished in 3 hours 44 minutes. Running London Marathon was one of the most amazing experiences of my life and something I will never forget. If I got time I might write up more about it.

Because I pushed myself so much in my training and the race, I decided to have a break from running for a couple of months to let my legs recover. During that time my wife got pregnant and my wonderful son was born and I found it more and more difficult to get back into my running. As I've mentioned in previous posts, my fatigue started to get worse, I wasn't sleeping well at night and I started getting very depressed. As a result, my break for a couple of months unfortunately lasted for 5 years!!!

Now I'm back out running, done two 3 1/2 mile runs this week through Penarth Mariner and I am hoping to get my fitness back up to enter Cardiff marathon. Using Endomondo on my HTC Desire, a GPS tracking app which logs run including, distance, times, running speed and route, my workouts were:

Monday 23 May - 3.44 miles in 32m:28s
Thursday 28 May - 3.55 miles in 30m:20s

I'm improving already.

I've put my motivation for my running thanks to the inspiration I received from the Sri Chimnoy disciples and the races I helped organise. I now go out running not with the aim to run further or faster, although I do like to achieve this, but for the enjoyment of running and using it as a meditation to "unlock the true potential of the human spirit" (Sri Chinmoy).

Although I've only been running twice, I have never felt better and I will be going out for another run tonight. This is another positive step along my Journey to Enlightenment

Friday, 20 May 2011

Self-Transcendence and Meditation Healing

Well, since my previous post over a week ago I have been making amazing progress in my search for enlightenment (god). I don't think I have ever felt better and at peace with myself and the world. I've had a busy but relaxing 10 days that has helped me find myself. I've help organise the Self Transcendence 2 mile race in Cardiff last Friday (13 May) and, following that, me and Bernadette spent the weekend at the Self Realization Meditation Centre in Llandeilo, Wales to celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary on the Sunday. Both these events were amazing and inspiring.

Since I've started my acupuncture and stopped the medication from the doctors, I find that I am beginning to get a better nights sleep, although still restless, but I am waking up in the mornings feeling more positive. I am also able to continue this feeling throughout the day, even when bad things happen, and it is making me feel a lot more happier. Also, after finally accepting Sri Chinmoy as my guru (teacher) and becoming one of his disciples then I can relax even more as I now got meaning to my life.

The feelings and emotions I've been feeling since my anniversary are amazing, I feel so much love not just for my wife and son, but for everyone and everything. This is absolutely wonderful, may this feeling long continue.

Peace, love and happiness to everyone.

Friday, 13 May 2011

Self-Transcendence 2 Mile Race

Pontcanna Fields, Cardiff, 13th May 2011

In May, June and July every year the Sri Chinmoy Marathon Team organises and runs a series of Self-Transcendence races in Cardiff, a 2 mile, 3 mile and 4 mile race as well as a relay. Since I am now a disciple I do like to help out with all the events as much as I can so I took the day of from work to help at the 2 mile race. I turned up at the Run and Become shop in Cardiff at about 3pm to load up the card with signs, medals, mallets, stakes and all sorts of items needed for the race, I was surprised to fit it all in my little Corsa.

We didn't leave the shop until about 4.30 and the race was due to start at 7, so we made a dash for Pontcanna Fields to start setting up the race. We quickly drove around the course attaching arrows, warning signs and mile markers to trees, posts, stakes (now you know why we needed them) to help the runners follow the course and warn other people that there was a race in progress. Registration was supposed to start at about 6.20, but we didn't finish setting up the course until about 6.25 and tents et al was still locked up in Charana's car. People were being registered from the back of one of the other disciples car, which looked strange and not efficient, but due to the spiritual nature of the race all the runners seemed to take it in their stride with very little complaining.

As a result the race started 10 minutes late, but the runners didn't mind and it was a huge success with over 130 runners taking part, more than any other year. I think all the runners enjoyed the race, the ones I spoke to at the end said it was a good race. Once we all packed up, me and some of the other disciples went for a vegetarian curry, which was well deserved, I then went home.

What a wonderful and inspiring day. Even though the race started late and we were delayed setting up the course, it was still a calm and peaceful day. The smiles on the runners as well as the disciples faces said it all. I went home to my wife at 10.30pm tired but very, very happy.

Monday, 9 May 2011

I'm back. Doctors, acupuncture, becoming a disciple and house buying

I have been a bit lapse with updating my blog lately, by now I'm going to try and update at least once a week,  more often if something of significance happens in my life. But just to bring you up to since my last blog Thoughts in December, my life has taken a new step and changed for the better.

It was a long hard winter, problems with the car, the weather was very cold with lots of snow and short, dull days that did not help with my mental well-being and achieving happiness. Also I have also been having trouble with people close to me, accepting who I am and not just simply trying to cause arguments and misunderstanding my intentions. Also, we couldn't get to North Wales to spend Christmas with my parent-in-laws as the car was not working (dead battery) due the cold weather and the weather was to bad to travel anyway. This upset my wife as we were both  really looking forward to spending Christmas with here parents.

I've been continuing with my meditation and that did help me get through January and I was beginning to feel happier with myself, although I was still feeling very tired at the weekends and not getting much sleep at night. Been back and forth to the doctors about this and all she has been doing is prescribing me one anti-depressant tablet after another, she thinks that I must be depressed, although I don't think I am. Having taken them for almost 3 months with no results, I have stopped as I have started on a course of acupuncture with the Chinese herbalist in Penarth. I shall write more about this in a future blog, but needless to say I think it is working as my sleep, although not that long, is improving and I'm feeling better in the morning. I'm going to the docs on Wednesday and I'm going to tell her once and for all that I no longer need to take any of her drugs.

One other change in my life, and one I will never regret, is that on the 7 February, 2011 I officially become a disciple of Sri Chinmoy. This involves meditating at the Sri Chinmoy centre in Cardiff every Wednesday and Sunday evening at 7.30pm as well as my daily meditations at home. I have also been to a couple of Joy days at the centre in London, more about these in a future blog. But what an wonderful experience I'm having and all the other disciples are such an amazing, happy group of people. As a result of this I have never been happier or more contented with my life. I think this is what I have been looking for.

I've also been on holiday with my wife, son and parents to Butlins in Bognor Regis which was very fun for all of us and, most importantly, brought me closer to my mum and dad. After the holiday they now fully accept I'm a vegetarian and that I don't drink alcohol. Also, more recently, they have begun accepting the fact that I meditate, but I've still yet to tell them I'm now a disciple. I'm might write more about this in yet another post.

I'm also in the process of finally buying a house after renting all these years. Mortgage all sorted just got to wait for contracts to be exchanged. So this is an exciting and busy time for me, but I'm not feeling stressed about it all, thanks to my meditation. I'll blog more about this as it happens.

All in all, since February, this year has been a very good year and I have never felt  happier or more contented with my life. There are some major changes going on in my life, but it is all very exciting and I'm  positive about everything that is happening.

Well that's it for the moment. Peace, love and happiness to you (the reader) and everyone.

Thursday, 11 November 2010

Songs of the Soul

What a wonderful day. I took the day off from work to go to the concert and used the time in morning to spend it with my wife and son. It was a nice, relaxing morning with a visit to the school Robert will be going to next year. We then took Robert to nursery and I then spent some quality time with Bernadette, relaxing before my journey to Bristol.

I said goodbye to my wife and left for Bristol at about 3:15. Apart from being stuck in traffic when I got to Bristol, the journey was very pleasent and a good sign for what I was about to experience at the concert. I arrived at St. Georges at about 5, not knowing really what was going to happen. I went in to collect my ticket and noticed people were already there, a few I recognised from the 24 hour track race. There was also free food (vegetarian) on offer so I grabbed a plate of rice and a vegetable dish, which was what I needed after my journey across Bristol.


Charana and Prabhavati arrived at about 6, so I went with Prabhavati for a cup of coffee in the Boston Tea shop just round the corner from the music hall. We took our seats at about 7:15 and quickly people started arriving and it looked like it was a sell out (well, the tickets were free) - OK a full house.

The concert itself was amazing, I can't fully think of enough words to describe what I experienced at the Songs of the Soul in Bristol that evening. What an amazing, wonderful and inspiring concert. The music and singing was filled with so much power and soulfulness that I left the concert renewed, filled with so much peace, love and happiness.

After the concert I stayed for a coffee and a chat and was told there was a group meditation going on in the hall. What an amazing experience this was, to be meditating with so many other people. The amount of love and happiness that was in St. Georges that night was amazing. I didn't leave until gone 11, but I was so relaxed and happy that I had a good journey home.

I would like to thank all the musicians and signer for putting on such a wonderful show and thanks to all the Sri Chinmoy followers for making this concert the success it was.

Friday, 5 November 2010

Flu, Energy and Hotels

It has not been a good 3 weeks since my last post. My energy levels have hit rock bottom and I have had flu-like symptoms for the past 2 1/2 weeks or so. I even missed a day of work because I felt so bad. As a result of my lack of energy I have been struggling with my meditation as well as my day-to-day activities. I think I'm now over the worst of it, just a bit of sinus congestion and that seems to be improving so hopefully I can start getting back on my journey again.

The past 3 weeks have not all been bad, I had a very nice 2 day break, just me and my wife, at the Aviator Hotel in Farnborough right next to the airfield. We both hadn't had a break for a while so we arranged with our son to stay with his 2 great aunts in Tadley, just outside Basingstoke, so we could both have a chance to relax and spend some quality time together. We treated ourselves to a luxury 2 night stay in the Aviator Hotel in their Sky Studio Air suite overlooking the airfield so we could watch the private jets take off and land. It was a very successful short break. We had a wonderful time, the room and hotel was amazing and, most importantly, it gave me chance to spend and enjoy some time with my wife. It done us both the world of good and I even managed to get some meditation in whilst I was there.

I have been catching up on my reading, I'm currently making my way through A Path with Heart by Jack Kornfield, which was recommended reading for the Mindful Space meditation course I went on earlier this year, see my earlier blog post on Mindfulness Meditation. This is proving to be a very thought provoking read and is helping me get back into my meditation and mindful ways.

I'm still meditating every Monday with Charana and Prabhavati and studying the philosophies and Sri Chinmoy. Next Wednesday (10 November 2010) I'm going to Bristol to watch the Songs of the Soul. It is a concert of Sri Chinmoy’s heart-warming, soul-stirring music which has been acclaimed and celebrated by musical giants including Ravi Shankar, Leonard Bernstein and Quincy Jones. Over his lifetime, Sri Chinmoy offered almost 800 concerts around the world, all of them free of charge, in the belief that the inner peace and happiness he sought to convey through his music was everyone's birthright. I shall add a post to my blog with a review of the concert and my thoughts.

I have also singed up for an advanced Mindfulness course, again with Vicki, at Insole Court in Cardiff, after she emailed me asking if I would like to come along to it. As I would like to advance my meditation and I feel I am stuck in a rut with it a bit, I thought it would be very useful to do another course, also it would be good to see Vicki again and have a chat with her about how I'm progressing. Unfortunately I have to miss the first class next Wednesday as it clashes with the Songs of the Soul concert, but I can make it to the rest of the classes.

Sunday, 26 September 2010

Self-Transcendence 24 Hour Track Race

Start of my adventure: Penarth, Vale of Glamorgan

Saturday 07:00 - at home in Penarth

It all began on Saturday morning. I was planning to have a lie in as I wanted all the rest I could muster for my own endurance as a counter for the 24 hour race, but I still woke up at about 7 in the morning. So I utilized the time to get some meditation in to prepare myself for the weekend. When my son woke up, about 8ish, I played with him for a few hours then my wife took him to stay with my parents for the night, so I used the opportunity to get a bit of a nap, which I did manage for about an hour. At 12 o'clock midday, just as I woke from my nap, I spared a thought and brief meditation for the runners at Tooting Bec Athletics track just starting their 24 hour race, good luck to them all.

Take the National Express

Saturday 16:00 - at the coach station

Just as the runners were entering their 5th hour into the run, I made my way into Cardiff to catch the bus to London at 5pm, as I was planning to do the midnight to midday shift on Sunday. I popped into Run & Become to have a quick chat with them (most of the staff there are followers of Sri Chinmoy and a few of them are also going to London to help), got a quick sandwich from Gregg's then made my way to the bus station. I said goodbye to my wife, she couldn't come with me as she was working Saturday evening and was busy Sunday, then climbed aboard the National Express to London which left on time. So, a positive start to the journey.

Saturday 17:00 - on the coach to London

It was a beautiful Saturday evening, the runners had reached their 6th hour, and I felt very good about myself and was looking forward to helping at the race, but I was still feeling a bit apprehensive about what it was going to be like. I was also a bit worried about meeting other Sri Chinmoy followers as I had only met a few so far. So I settled into my seat with headphones on to listen to some music to pass the time. I decided to listen to some music by the Police (the group not the men in blue).


Saturday 19:30 - approaching London

As I approached London, I changed my music and listened to some songs by Ananda - peaceful, meditation tunes to prepare myself for the hustle and bustle of London on a Saturday night. At this point, the runners had been on the track for 7 1/2 hours. The journey went by very quick and was improved by the view of the moon rising over London, so as I arrived at Victoria coach station on time (8:20pm) I was very calm and relaxed.

Saturday 21:00 - in London!

Before I caught the tube to Tooting Bec, and the runners were reaching their 10th hour, I was feeling a bit peckish, so I bought a bag of chips from a takeaway just outside Victoria Station before making my way to the underground. Even the tube journey was a pleasant experience so I got to Tooting Bec fully prepared (physically as well as mentally) for my marathon lap recording. I strolled down Tooting Bec Road with my excitement building with each step then I finally reached my desitination, Tooting Bec Athletics Track, earlier than expected at about 9:50pm.

At Tooting Bec Race Track, London

Saturday 22:00 - 10 hours into the race

I entered the stadium as the runners (about 40 of them) were just approaching their 10th hour on the track, and it seemed quite a calm and sedate affair, with occasional cheers coming from the helpers as the runners passed them each lap. I then made my way over to a big marquee sort of thing, with about 10 or 12 people sitting at tables, who I assumed were responsible for recording the lap times of the runners. It was then I saw both Charana and Pabhavati who waved at me to join them. They were both very pleased to see me and the whole atmosphere there was one of happiness and enjoyment, with little or no stress to be seen, considering the race had been going on for almost 10 hours.

After a brief introduction to everyone and a phone call to my wife to say I arrived safely, they asked if I wanted to start logging the times now or go and have a rest first. I thought I might as well start, I could always have a sleep later as I did bring a sleeping bag with me. So Charana explained what was involved, it was very straight forward. Each runner had a number of sheets with the laps and distance on them, and all I had to do was record their time every time they passed the starting line, giving them a shout of encouragement so that they knew I'd seen them. Each helper had 2 or 3 runners to log, so I was given 2 to begin with. So I sat down at a table under a makeshift tent, in Tooting Bec Race track at just before 10 o'clock on Saturday night, ready to log the lap times of runners for the next 14 hours. What had I let myself in for?

Sunday 24:00 - 12 hours into the race (1/2 way)

As the night progressed I started getting into the lap times recording and was beginning to relax and enjoy it. I was getting into the shouts of "Well done. Got-cha. Your doing great" as my allocated runners passed me to let them know I've seen them, logged their time and give a shout of encouragement. The temperature was getting colder, but I had a thick jumper and a warm coat on, and my sleeping bag was wrapped around my legs for added warmth, so I felt quite comfortable. There were other helpers on hand constantly bringing out hot drinks - tea (herbal and normal), coffee and hot chocolate, as well as some simple food - jam, banana or peanut butter sandwiches, which kept us all going through the cold, dark night. Spirits were high and even the runners were smiling every time they passed us, especially as we all made a point to shout out words of support for them. The runners were allowed to walk, run and even take breaks as often and for as long as they wanted, it was quite a relaxed race.

Sunday 04:00 - 16 Hours into the race - change direction!

The hours seemed to pass very quickly, so by 4am I thought I may as well stay until the end, another 8 hours away, as I was on a high from the atmosphere in the tent as well as on the track, or it might have been the amount of caffeine I had consumed. Every 4 hours the competitors did change direction on the track, so went from running clockwise for 4 hours, to anti-clockwise for the next 4 hours, then back to clockwise, and so forth. It was an wonderful experience being at the race track in Tooting at that hour of the morning and it was amazing watching all the athletes who had been running / walking around the track for 16 hours, still with a smile on their faces. It was really inspiring, and that what kept me going through the dark, cold night. One thing I did notice and feel was the sense of calmnes and love amongst all the helpers in the tent with me. None of them moaned about being here, they were here of there own choice and were doing it out of the goodness off there heart and for the love they felt for everything. It is very difficult to put into words what I was feeling, but it was wonderful and made me feel very happy and relaxed, even though I was very tired.

Sunday 06:30 - 18 1/2 hours into the race

As dawn approached and the sky slowly got brighter, everyone realised that the end was in sight and so the excitement and anticipation was escalating. We were all thinking who, and how many, would reach and pass 100 miles, and our cheers of support for all the athletes was getting louder. We were supplied with porridge and apple compote (both helpers and the athletes) at about 7am and then given a full cooked veggie breakfast (for the helpers), which was just what I needed to give me the energy to continue to the end.

Sunday 10:00 - 22 hours into the race

8 o'clock came and went, then 9 am, and 10 o'clock passed. Only 2 hours left to go. Considering how long people had been awake for and how long the runners had been on the track - 22 hours - the atmosphere was still very calm and relaxed. It was then that runners started passing the 100 miles and everyone roared when a runner reached that milestone. 11am came and we all new that the end was very near and the excitement in the stadium was electric. The runners all found reserves of energy to pick up their pace a bit as they were determined to reach there own individual targets. Runners approaching 100 miles were given that extra boost which enabled them to reach and pass it.

Sunday 12:00 - 24 hours

Then as 12 midday approached, 24 hours after all the runners starting, the horn blared out and all the runners collapsed were they stood, with sandbags placed on the track for each runner so their final distance could accurately be measured.

All I can say is what an amazing, wonderful experience, I have never felt anything like this in my life. I had an amazing buzz when I ran London marathon back in 2006 and, although the atmosphere at the marathon was filled with emotion and excitement, this was altogether different. There was an emotion here, but it felt more personal as each athlete on that track had given something extra to compete in and finish the race. We were all absolutely exhausted, especially the runners, but everyone had a smile and their face at the end.

After the race, I helped tidy up, put the tents and equipment away and, just before the results were announced and prizes award, I tucked into a wonderful plate of veggie pasta, and boy did it taste good. The unofficial timing results were announced and 16 runners had ran more than 100 miles, with the winner running just over 129 miles. One runner finished just short of 100 miles, but after the result were checked, he had actually run a distance of 100 miles and 53 yards! Go to the official results web site to see how all the runners got on. Congratulation to all the runners who took part in the race, what an amazing achievement and well done.


What an experience I had over the past 14 hours, my respect goes out to each and every runner for taking part. And the feelings of love, happiness and support for everyone from all the Sri Chinmoy followers was unbelievable, I didn't really appreciate that people could be like this. Although I was feeling absolutely exhausted, I felt an amazing sense of achievement and well-being. I'm going to have to remember these feelings when I'm next having doubt's about myself or I am losing faith.

Sunday 14:00 - 2 hours after the race finished

The journey back home was not as good as coming here, I was very tired and just wanted to get home. The tube journey was fine and gave me chance to relax for 20 minutes. But, due to delays on the M4 and bad weather, it took about 4 hours to reach Cardiff but the amazing feelings a had in Tooting kept me going till I got home.

Have look in the race photo gallery to see all the runners and helpers in action.

Next: Doubts and Uncertainties

Friday, 3 September 2010

Buddhism and Sri Chinmoy

May - September 2010

As my meditation progressed and improved during the mindfulness meditation course, I was interested in taking my meditation further and exploring new ways of meditating. I instantly thought of Buddhism and started reading about this and the life of Buddha. I also bought a A Simple Path by the Dalai Lama to read up on his teachings about Buddhism.

Reading about the life and philosophies of the Buddha was extraordinary and made me realise that maybe this is what I have been searching for all my life. The whole concept behind Buddhism, the peace, loving-kindness and acceptance of everyone no matter what race, creed or religion was what I have been striving for. Having been brought up a Christian, firstly Church in Wales and then Catholic, I found this too restrictive and a lot of so called Christians I've met who do go to church do not necessarily practice what they preach. Also, too many wars have been fought in the name of religion and I was getting fed up with it.

Temple of Peace, Cardiff
Buddhism I discovered was different. It is all about peace, acceptance and non-violence. So towards the end of my meditation course with Vicki, I went in search of another meditation group to join, something to allow me to take my meditation that one step closer to enlightenment. It's during my search I came across a little card in Halcyon Daze on Wellfield Road, Cardiff advertising this free meditation group in the Temple of Peace in Cardiff. My wife suggested I go along to try it out and that's where I fist met Charana who was giving talks about Sri Chinmoy and meditation. This new path began for me on 10th May, 2010 on a Monday night.

Sri ChinmoyThis was a more spiritual path and form of meditation than I was use to and thought that maybe it was not for me. But I went back for a few more weeks, listened to more of his talks and started practising this form of meditation. As the weeks progressed I started getting a greater sense of peace and joy from meditation. I have now been reading a couple of books by Sri Chimnoy about his philosophies, teachings and his meditation techniques and it has been quite inspiring. I did not realise I could have this much love and happiness in my life, but as a result of the meditation I am now enjoying my life.

Sri Chinmoy, who sadly passed away in October 2007, was an Indian spiritual teacher and philosopher who emigrated to the U.S. in 1964. His teachings emphasize love for God, daily meditation on the heart, service to the world, and religious tolerance (a view that "all faiths" are essentially divine) (quote from Wikipedia). This is very similar to the Buddhism philosphy about tolerance and acceptance, also peace and love towards all things.

For proof of how far I progressed, at the end of August I went and stayed with my wife's parents and normally I feel so uncomfortable staying with them and I tended to isolate myself from them. This time it was different. I actually felt happy, calm and relaxed and really enjoyed my time with them. My wife's mother even commented to her how different I was, that I seemed more happy and joined in with them more. Normally when I visit them I can't wait to leave and come home, but this time I was upset that I had to come home. So, there is something in this meditation that is helping me.

I have now been going to the group on a Monday, meditating on Sri Chinmoy with Charana (my teacher) and his wife Prabhavati. I still have a long way to go, but what an experience I've had so far. I have also had my downs as well us my ups, sometimes doubting if the meditation is worth it and if it is actually making a difference, and I'm still finding it difficult putting everything I've learnt so far into practice. It takes a lot of commitment to continue with the meditation, but I now have a goal and sense of purpose, so I can ride out the bad days as I know they will improve.

Now you're up to date with my progress so far, I will try and add regular posts to keep you informed on how I'm progressing.

Peace, love and happiness to you all,

Stephen

Next: Ups & Downs, Sleeplessness, Anger, Alcohol and Eating Meat