Self-Transcendence and Meditation Healing

Well, since my previous post over a week ago I have been making amazing progress in my search for enlightenment (god). I don't think I have ever felt better and at peace with myself and the world. I've had a busy but relaxing 10 days that has helped me find myself. I've help organise the Self Transcendence 2 mile race in Cardiff last Friday (13 May) and, following that, me and Bernadette spent the weekend at the Self Realization Meditation Centre in Llandeilo, Wales to celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary on the Sunday. Both these events were amazing and inspiring.

Since I've started my acupuncture and stopped the medication from the doctors, I find that I am beginning to get a better nights sleep, although still restless, but I am waking up in the mornings feeling more positive. I am also able to continue this feeling throughout the day, even when bad things happen, and it is making me feel a lot more happier. Also, after finally accepting Sri Chinmoy as my guru (teacher) and becoming one of his disciples then I can relax even more as I now got meaning to my life.

The feelings and emotions I've been feeling since my anniversary are amazing, I feel so much love not just for my wife and son, but for everyone and everything. This is absolutely wonderful, may this feeling long continue.

Peace, love and happiness to everyone.

Self-Transcendence 2 Mile Race

Pontcanna Fields, Cardiff, 13th May 2011

In May, June and July every year the Sri Chinmoy Marathon Team organises and runs a series of Self-Transcendence races in Cardiff, a 2 mile, 3 mile and 4 mile race as well as a relay. Since I am now a disciple I do like to help out with all the events as much as I can so I took the day of from work to help at the 2 mile race. I turned up at the Run and Become shop in Cardiff at about 3pm to load up the card with signs, medals, mallets, stakes and all sorts of items needed for the race, I was surprised to fit it all in my little Corsa.

We didn't leave the shop until about 4.30 and the race was due to start at 7, so we made a dash for Pontcanna Fields to start setting up the race. We quickly drove around the course attaching arrows, warning signs and mile markers to trees, posts, stakes (now you know why we needed them) to help the runners follow the course and warn other people that there was a race in progress. Registration was supposed to start at about 6.20, but we didn't finish setting up the course until about 6.25 and tents et al was still locked up in Charana's car. People were being registered from the back of one of the other disciples car, which looked strange and not efficient, but due to the spiritual nature of the race all the runners seemed to take it in their stride with very little complaining.

As a result the race started 10 minutes late, but the runners didn't mind and it was a huge success with over 130 runners taking part, more than any other year. I think all the runners enjoyed the race, the ones I spoke to at the end said it was a good race. Once we all packed up, me and some of the other disciples went for a vegetarian curry, which was well deserved, I then went home.

What a wonderful and inspiring day. Even though the race started late and we were delayed setting up the course, it was still a calm and peaceful day. The smiles on the runners as well as the disciples faces said it all. I went home to my wife at 10.30pm tired but very, very happy.

Christmas Shopping!!!

It's that time of year again. The Christmas lights have been switched on in the centre of Cardiff and are slowly appearing inside and outside of houses, children are starting to get excited about Father Christmas coming, and there is a buzz in the air. Is that buzz a feeling of peace, love and happiness? Of coming together of families and friends to share this special time? Of people putting aside their differences and arguments and making the world, or at least their homes, a better place to be?

No, it's the time when you are bombarded with adverts on TV, radio and magazines for the toys that children can't live without, the perfume that your loved one must have to show that you love her, the new sofa you must buy (delivered in time for Christmas) and the endless list of gadgets and gifts which you must rush out to the shops and buy now! Also, I read a story on the BBC News website this week Christmas toy market faces China crisis! What are parents going to do? There will be so many tears on Christmas day if the children don't have the latest toy, Buzz Lightyear again apparently, because the TV said they must have it and that Christmas will not be Christmas without it. We are obsessed with commercialism and spending money we haven't got, no wonder the world is in the state it's in.

It's also the time when people start asking that question - "Have you done your Christmas shopping yet?" And sometimes you get the proud person saying, "I've done all my Christmas shopping, in fact I bought most of it over the summer." Why do people feel the need to go out and do Christmas Shopping? And why do they have to go out search through all the shops on the high street (and the virtual high street on the big WWW) to try and find that perfect present for their loved ones, friends and family, sometimes resulting in spending too much money to get that perfect gift?

I've got to admit, I have done it in the past and this is the time of year when I normally start worrying (and I am starting to worry) about what can I get people for Christmas, especially my family. And by time Christmas actually arrives I'm so stressed up by the Christmas Shopping and thoughts going through my mind such as "Will they like the gift I bought them?" and "Have I done the right thing?" that I don't really enjoy the holidays and time spent with people I love. If I turned up at my family's house on Christmas day without a gift for any of them, does that mean I love them any less? Would they would think that I don't love them? Would they be appalled that I didn't buy them a gift?

My greatest gift from people to me is not the latest, most expensive, iWhatever or the aftershave set which I might never use, but the thought that they are happy and that they have made the time to come and visit me. Despite all this, I will be getting presents for people this year because it is nice to give gifts and see the happiness it brings them, but I'm going to try and buy (or even get) something from the heart, and not just because it is on sale in a shop.

What is also going to be difficult this Christmas, and it also applies to my 40th birthday next year, is that I don't drink alcohol any more, not even a glass of wine with a meal. People are going to say "Go on, have a drink, it's Christmas" and some may even think I'm strange because I don't drink alcohol. I no longer need alcohol to relax and have a good time. Thanks to my meditation I can be happy without it.

This is something else we are bombarded with on TV. That we must stock up on crates and crates of beer or wine, as well as an excessive amount of food, for the Christmas holidays. It doesn't help when the big supermarkets sell alcohol at greatly reduced prices to encourage people to drink more at Christmas. In my opinion, excessive drinking of alcohol has caused more trouble than necessary. I'm not saying that people shouldn't drink alcohol, I used to appreciate and nice glass of real ale from time to time and I understand the pleasure you can get from it. But a lot of people don't drink alcohol just to enjoy the taste. What I don't like is when people drink alcohol for the sake of drinking, and also with the aim of getting drunk. I've done it and I've never like the end result, me acting stupid and waking up feeling dreadful (the dreaded hangover) and regretting, or not even remembering, the night before.

This year I'm spending Christmas with my wife's parents in North Wales and I feel that my family think that this is wrong and that I should be be staying in Cardiff to spend Christmas with my them. My family can see me and Robert whenever they want to, but because Bernadette's parents are so far away (about a 5 hour drive / train journey) then they don't get to see their only daughter and grandson as often as they would like. Also, they will be on their own this Christmas as some of their family are over in Australia visiting relatives, so it would be nice for them to spend Christmas with their daughter and grandson. Is this wrong?

People may say I'm starting to sound like Scrooge saying "Bah Humbug" to Christmas (thanks Charles Dickens) and they ask me "Where's your Christmas spirit?" (in a bottle?) But far from it. This year especially I want to enjoy Christmas more than ever, I'm just fed up the commercialism and the constant pressure to buy this or do that this Christmas. This year I'm going to use my mediation to really appreciate my time spent with family and friends and, hopefully, fill their Christmas with love and happiness as well.

Tŷ Hafan Christmas Star Appeal

Every Christmas is precious; most will spend the morning opening presents, then watching their favourite Christmas film and of course, veg’ing out with the family! For some children and young people in Wales, who live with life-limiting conditions, every Christmas is made extra special by their families, because quite simply… it could be their last.

Why not do something special this Christmas. Don't go to the shops, instead make a donation today to Tŷ Hafan's Christmas star appeal and send a message of love, support and encouragement to the children and families that Tŷ Hafan will be caring for this Christmas.

Songs of the Soul

What a wonderful day. I took the day off from work to go to the concert and used the time in morning to spend it with my wife and son. It was a nice, relaxing morning with a visit to the school Robert will be going to next year. We then took Robert to nursery and I then spent some quality time with Bernadette, relaxing before my journey to Bristol.

I said goodbye to my wife and left for Bristol at about 3:15. Apart from being stuck in traffic when I got to Bristol, the journey was very pleasent and a good sign for what I was about to experience at the concert. I arrived at St. Georges at about 5, not knowing really what was going to happen. I went in to collect my ticket and noticed people were already there, a few I recognised from the 24 hour track race. There was also free food (vegetarian) on offer so I grabbed a plate of rice and a vegetable dish, which was what I needed after my journey across Bristol.

Charana and Prabhavati arrived at about 6, so I went with Prabhavati for a cup of coffee in the Boston Tea shop just round the corner from the music hall. We took our seats at about 7:15 and quickly people started arriving and it looked like it was a sell out (well, the tickets were free) - OK a full house.

The concert itself was amazing, I can't fully think of enough words to describe what I experienced at the Songs of the Soul in Bristol that evening. What an amazing, wonderful and inspiring concert. The music and singing was filled with so much power and soulfulness that I left the concert renewed, filled with so much peace, love and happiness.

After the concert I stayed for a coffee and a chat and was told there was a group meditation going on in the hall. What an amazing experience this was, to be meditating with so many other people. The amount of love and happiness that was in St. Georges that night was amazing. I didn't leave until gone 11, but I was so relaxed and happy that I had a good journey home.

I would like to thank all the musicians and signer for putting on such a wonderful show and thanks to all the Sri Chinmoy followers for making this concert the success it was.

Acceptance & 24 Hour Track Race

Acceptance

Why do I always feel the need to be accepted by everyone?

All through my life I've always strived to please other people (friends, work colleagues and family) and do what they think is right, especially when it comes to my family. I've always felt that whatever I do, or don't do, is wrong and they will never be happy and will always criticise me. I've only ever wanted them to be happy with themselves and with me, but I have never been able to achieve this. Is this wrong?

I know my family do love me and they want the best for me, that's why they are always full of advice and suggestion about what I should be doing with my life. I will always listen to them and if their advice is good I will act upon it. But I do have my own life and I want to live it as best as I can my own way, even if I do make mistakes along the way. And sometimes other people may not like the way I'm living my life, but I wish they would just accept it.

Up until now I have never been truly happy with myself or my life. All through my college and university years I felt the need to force myself to fit in with everyone, which included going to night clubs in Cardiff with some of my friends. The clubs were OK but I never really enjoyed the experience of going out to them and simply getting drunk. Since I've left college I still felt I had to fit in with the crowd and do what my peers do. I used to drink alcohol when I went out, visited friends and at home because I felt that was the norm and what was expected of me. It was also how I was brought up to feel it was OK to drink alcohol to excess. I also felt I had to drink to allow myself to relax whenever I went out as I could not have a good time unless I was at least a little bit tipsy. I never used to like the effects of alcohol on the body and I would always feel rotten afterwards.

Now, whenever I visit friends or go to parties at their houses and they offer me a drink, they find it strange when I say I don't drink alcohol at all, not even 1/2 pint of beer or 1 small glass off wine. Why is it that people think it's strange when you say you don't drink alcohol? I'm not going to tell people what they can and cannot do, and I don't think drinking alcohol is a bad thing, as long as it drunk in moderation. But, as a result of the path I'm following, I do not feel the need to have alcohol to relax me and therefore I have chosen not to drink it, as I feel even one drink will have a negative effect on me.

They only person who knows fully about the path I'm following is my wife and she is fully supportive of me and encourages me in every step I take. She is very happy about how it is making me a more calm, relaxed and a nicer person to live with. Also, I have mentioned it to some of my friends and they think it is very good that I'm doing this. I have yet to tell anyone else, especially my family, about the path I'm following as I do feel they will criticise and say I am stupid and wrong for doing this. I don't want to upset them, so not too sure how to go about doing it.

By writing this blog and letting people read it I'm hoping everyone will understand why I'm following this path and what I'm hoping to achieve / have achieved so far. I also want people to understand my true feelings and what I'm currently thinking, and, in doing so, will help them understand me better. I do not want to upset anyone in the process, I just want everyone to be happy. I am open to any questions / comments about what I'm doing, so feel free to leave any comments you want.

Self-Transcendence 24 Hour Track Race

Anyway, I'm off to London tomorrow, Tooting to be precise, to act as a helper for the Self-Transcendence 24 Hour Track Race at Tooting Bec race track, organised by the Sri Chinmoy Athletic Club. It starts at midday on Saturday and finishes midday on Sunday and I will helping as a counter in the second shift from midnight to midday on Sunday. It will be interesting watching and supporting the runners, some of which will have run over 100 miles by time they have finished, some reaching 140 miles or more! It will also be a challenge for me to stay awake that long.

Good night sleep tonight as I'm travelling to London by coach (it's cheaper than the train) at 5pm tomorrow. I will write a report about the race when I get back.

Have a happy and peaceful weekend everyone,

Stephen

Next: Self-Transcendence 24 Hour Track Race