Ups & Downs, Sleeplessness, Anger, Alcohol and Eating Meat

This week has been a strange week. I know my journey will not be easy and I will not reach my goal overnight, even not in this life time. But it is still difficult and frustrating.

I am still meditating every day, once in the morning when I first get up, normally around 6am and then before bed about 10.30ish. I am struggling to have good meditations this week as I have been feeling very tired, especially at night. This isn't helped by the fact that I am a very restless person and I have trouble sleeping at night.

I have changed my diet over the past few months to help with my relaxation and sleep. About 3 months ago I gave up alcohol and I haven't touched a drop since. I use to have a glass or 2 of whisky or some beer when I got home from work to help me relax, but I still didn't sleep any better as a result and I used to just wake up with a headache. I have also come realise that alcohol was just poisoning my system and was obstructing my meditation and reaching enlightenment.

Next, about a month ago, I gave up eating meat and fish as I feel this was adding to my anger. I felt that by eating meet I was absorbing the stress and unhappiness of the animal which it felt just before it was killed, simply so I could have a beef burger or a sausage. Quorn sausages, burgers and mince does make a good alternative.

Today has been one of my worst in a long time. I have been feeling very tired all weekend and when I tried to go have a few extra hours this morning I was disturbed and my anger got the better of me. I snapped at my wife, did not feel like playing with my son and just felt very unhappy. I have been to the doctors about me not sleeping and all they done was prescribe my some antidepressants to help me relax and sleep at night. All that achieved, because of the side effects, was to make me more angry and unhappy. I stopped taking the tablets a few weeks ago and I am going back to the doctors on Tuesday to let them know that I do not want to take anything that will pollute my system. I am not feeling depressed anymore as a result of my mediation and I do not need to take any pills for depression.

All said and done, since I have given up drinking alcohol and eating meat, my general feeling of well-being has increased and I have never felt happier. This week, and especially today, has just been a blip, and after meditating just now I have manage to sedate my anger. My sleep problems I am determined to solve more naturally and will not be taking drugs again.

Next week is going to be a better week, but here and now I am going to be happy.

Next: More ups and downs, but making progress