Christmas Shopping!!!

It's that time of year again. The Christmas lights have been switched on in the centre of Cardiff and are slowly appearing inside and outside of houses, children are starting to get excited about Father Christmas coming, and there is a buzz in the air. Is that buzz a feeling of peace, love and happiness? Of coming together of families and friends to share this special time? Of people putting aside their differences and arguments and making the world, or at least their homes, a better place to be?

No, it's the time when you are bombarded with adverts on TV, radio and magazines for the toys that children can't live without, the perfume that your loved one must have to show that you love her, the new sofa you must buy (delivered in time for Christmas) and the endless list of gadgets and gifts which you must rush out to the shops and buy now! Also, I read a story on the BBC News website this week Christmas toy market faces China crisis! What are parents going to do? There will be so many tears on Christmas day if the children don't have the latest toy, Buzz Lightyear again apparently, because the TV said they must have it and that Christmas will not be Christmas without it. We are obsessed with commercialism and spending money we haven't got, no wonder the world is in the state it's in.

It's also the time when people start asking that question - "Have you done your Christmas shopping yet?" And sometimes you get the proud person saying, "I've done all my Christmas shopping, in fact I bought most of it over the summer." Why do people feel the need to go out and do Christmas Shopping? And why do they have to go out search through all the shops on the high street (and the virtual high street on the big WWW) to try and find that perfect present for their loved ones, friends and family, sometimes resulting in spending too much money to get that perfect gift?

I've got to admit, I have done it in the past and this is the time of year when I normally start worrying (and I am starting to worry) about what can I get people for Christmas, especially my family. And by time Christmas actually arrives I'm so stressed up by the Christmas Shopping and thoughts going through my mind such as "Will they like the gift I bought them?" and "Have I done the right thing?" that I don't really enjoy the holidays and time spent with people I love. If I turned up at my family's house on Christmas day without a gift for any of them, does that mean I love them any less? Would they would think that I don't love them? Would they be appalled that I didn't buy them a gift?

My greatest gift from people to me is not the latest, most expensive, iWhatever or the aftershave set which I might never use, but the thought that they are happy and that they have made the time to come and visit me. Despite all this, I will be getting presents for people this year because it is nice to give gifts and see the happiness it brings them, but I'm going to try and buy (or even get) something from the heart, and not just because it is on sale in a shop.

What is also going to be difficult this Christmas, and it also applies to my 40th birthday next year, is that I don't drink alcohol any more, not even a glass of wine with a meal. People are going to say "Go on, have a drink, it's Christmas" and some may even think I'm strange because I don't drink alcohol. I no longer need alcohol to relax and have a good time. Thanks to my meditation I can be happy without it.

This is something else we are bombarded with on TV. That we must stock up on crates and crates of beer or wine, as well as an excessive amount of food, for the Christmas holidays. It doesn't help when the big supermarkets sell alcohol at greatly reduced prices to encourage people to drink more at Christmas. In my opinion, excessive drinking of alcohol has caused more trouble than necessary. I'm not saying that people shouldn't drink alcohol, I used to appreciate and nice glass of real ale from time to time and I understand the pleasure you can get from it. But a lot of people don't drink alcohol just to enjoy the taste. What I don't like is when people drink alcohol for the sake of drinking, and also with the aim of getting drunk. I've done it and I've never like the end result, me acting stupid and waking up feeling dreadful (the dreaded hangover) and regretting, or not even remembering, the night before.

This year I'm spending Christmas with my wife's parents in North Wales and I feel that my family think that this is wrong and that I should be be staying in Cardiff to spend Christmas with my them. My family can see me and Robert whenever they want to, but because Bernadette's parents are so far away (about a 5 hour drive / train journey) then they don't get to see their only daughter and grandson as often as they would like. Also, they will be on their own this Christmas as some of their family are over in Australia visiting relatives, so it would be nice for them to spend Christmas with their daughter and grandson. Is this wrong?

People may say I'm starting to sound like Scrooge saying "Bah Humbug" to Christmas (thanks Charles Dickens) and they ask me "Where's your Christmas spirit?" (in a bottle?) But far from it. This year especially I want to enjoy Christmas more than ever, I'm just fed up the commercialism and the constant pressure to buy this or do that this Christmas. This year I'm going to use my mediation to really appreciate my time spent with family and friends and, hopefully, fill their Christmas with love and happiness as well.

Tŷ Hafan Christmas Star Appeal

Every Christmas is precious; most will spend the morning opening presents, then watching their favourite Christmas film and of course, veg’ing out with the family! For some children and young people in Wales, who live with life-limiting conditions, every Christmas is made extra special by their families, because quite simply… it could be their last.

Why not do something special this Christmas. Don't go to the shops, instead make a donation today to Tŷ Hafan's Christmas star appeal and send a message of love, support and encouragement to the children and families that Tŷ Hafan will be caring for this Christmas.