Pregnancy and a new baby

My last post was back in July 2012 where I mentioned that Bernadette was pregnant with our 2nd child, we had just bought our first house, second car and I was fully embracing Buddhism.

Pregnancy

Most people would say that the thought of my wife having a 2nd child should have been a happy occasion and I should be filled with joy. But, I didn't think I was prepared or able to cope with another child as I was still suffering with fatigue. Also, it didn't help that Bernadette had very bad morning, noon and night sickness for the first half of the pregnancy and then very bad SPD (pelvic pain) and she was on crutches for the last couple of months.

I was feeling myself getting more and more depressed as the 'big day' approached in December and was not looking forward to being a dad for a second time. Bernadette started having labour pains at about 4:30pm on Friday, 21st December so I called the midwife. She said there was nothing to worry about so just keep an eye on the contractions.

But by about 5pm, she was in agony and screaming in pain, so I dialled 999 to call for an ambulance. Bernadette, in the meantime was kneeling at the bottom of the stairs as this helped her a bit, and Robert was in the living room with cbeebies on but screaming as loud is his mother.

One thing to point out that it was the Friday before Christmas (Black Friday) and the traffic was bad and the ambulance service was really stretched.

The operator then said that an ambulance is on it's way but there is a chance that I may have to deliver the baby myself. So I hurdled Bernadette grabbed a handful of towels and blankets to but below here and prepared myself, all the while the operator was keeping me calm by telling me what to do.

At the bottom of the stairs!

Thankfully, the paramedics turned up 15 minutes later and the delivered the baby, and one of them, who was also called Rob, stayed with our Robert to try and keep him calm. Bernadette couldn't move from the stairs so the paramedics had to deliver the baby where she lay. As a result, our 2snd baby boy, Daniel, was born on 21st December, 2012 at 5:50pm at the bottom of the stairs on our house in Barry!

After the birth I sat on our chair in the living room watching In the Night Garden with the new born baby in my arms, whilst the paramedics helped Bernadette with the final stage of the delivery. The afterbirth took longer to come out than the baby did.

Because I was still a bit panicky I called a very good friend, Alina who only lives a couple of minutes away, to come to our house to help me with the new baby and look after Robert for the night, who had finally stopped screaming! She helped me bit a nappy on the baby and then took Robert back to her house for the night. I need to say a very big Thank You to Alina and her family for being able to help is, she is one amazing and special friend. 

Bernadette then went to the University Hospital of Wales (UHW) in Cardiff and I had to take the new baby in my card as there was no way to transport the baby in the Ambulance. I must be the only dad who delivered the baby to the hospital. She had to have a bit of work done, such as stitches, and they had to move a blood clot from inside her that was almost bigger than the baby.

I've got to say this was the most exciting and frightening experiences I've ever been through and I've got to praise the 999 operator who kept me calm and explained what I had to do, as well as the paramedics for delivering the baby.

We even made it onto the front page of the local Barry & District news, I'll post the write up so you can read it. 

That's it for now and that's how I ended 2012 by becoming a new dad. My next post will by a summary of 2013, being a dad for the second time and my continuing Journey.

I just wanted to post this...

My wife turned up to my office the other day and said "Robert's in the phone". I said to her, "Don't you mean Robert's ON the phone"? She said, "No, he's definately IN the phone!" Have a look for yourself :-D

HELLO. I'M IN DADDY'S PHONE!

And I had to get the following photo on here. I pass it every day on my walk into work, and each time it still brings a smile to my face.

Feed me your rubbish!

It's in a little playground in Bridgend and I think it's a wonderful idea to get children to use the bin for their rubbish.

Kiddies playground in Bridgend

I always like images that bring a smile to my face, it make me feel good.

Buddhism

Now that I have fully welcomed Buddha into my life, and embraced the Buddhist path and way of living, I am feeling wonderful. Summer has finally arrived, the sun is hovering overhead in a clear blue sky and I am feeling happy with myself and life. Maybe it's the course of accupuncture treatments I'm having to help with my insomnia and general fatigue, or maybe it's the meditation, or a combination of both, but I'm not complaining, I'm enjoying it.

Insomnia is actually a good thing for a Buddhist who wants a regular meditation practice, in a weird sort of way. Take last night for instance. It was a hot, muggy night and even after my weekly meditation at the Barry Meditation Center, where we done a walking meditation followed by a 6 stage elements meditation, I still could not get 2 sleep. By 1am I was up, in front of my shrine meditating, which always helps. Managed to get to sleep by 3, but still woke up at 6 in time for my morning meditation. I wake up most morning between 5.30 and 6, so you can see the life of an insomniac means that I always have time for meditation.

I had my accunpuncture session today, needles in my legs, arms and head, and I think I actually fell asleep at one point and started snoring, but the therapist didn't say anything. A couple of weeks ago I wasn't enjoying my life much, always tired, couldn't get the energy or enthusiasm to do much. But now I back to enjoying life, enjoying the summer and generally being happy.

One final point today, I mentioned in an earlier post that I might need to arrange to see my GP about my  fatigue / sleepless night. Well, the way I have been feeling this week I don't think I need to, although I'll see how I am over the next few weeks.

om mani padme hum
peace, love and happiness

Mindful Moment

For the past few months, if not since last year, I have been rushing through life, letting things get to me and focusing on all the bad and unpleasant events in my life. But, now I'm back on my journey, I have been slowing down and trying to enjoy my life. It is difficult, but I think I'm getting there.

Something that is long overdue is a mindful moment, something which I used to have a lot of when I first started meditating, but which has been missing from my life. It happened whilst I was waiting for the train on Barry Docks station a few days ago.

View from Barry Docks station

To set the scene, the train station has got a nice view over the docks toward the Bristol Channel, then across to the coast of England. The train was running a few minutes late and normally I just let this annoy me. This time, I stood looking across the docks and noticed the sky. It was a pleasant, sunny day, with a mixture of blue sky, high clouds and fast moving lower clouds. It was so beautiful. I simply stood there, until the train arrived, watching the clouds float by without thinking of anything. I was just enjoying the shape, structure and colour of the clouds and the sensation of calmness it brought in me.

Sunrays over Barry Docks

Since then, I'm trying to do this more often. You can do this with any object, man made or natural. Just try looking at the object without analysing it or thinking about what it is. Don't look at clouds and start thinking thoughts such as, "Is it going to rain?", "I wish I brought my brolly, I'm going to get wet now.", "Did I leave the washing on the line?", etc. Just look at the clouds and enjoy the natural beauty of them, the form, structure and the way they do slowly change form as they drift across the sky.

You can do this with any thing. Don't look at a car and think "I would like one of those. I wonder how much it costs or how fast it goes?" Look at the colour, texture, the way the light reflects of the paint work, etc. Look around you and start enjoying the beauty of everything, man-made as well as natural, I most certainly intend to do this. I want to stop passing judgement and analysing everything. Like the clouds, I want to enjoy the beauty of life and the world, not just let it roll by without even noticing it. I want to live life moment by moment.

Panaromic view from Barry Docks station

My journey continues...

om mani padme hum
peace, love and happiness

What Have I Been Up To?

What Have I Been Up To?

Well, I definitely have been a bit lapse with my posting, it's been over a year since my last post. So, what have I been up to? It has been a busy 13 months - 1/2 marathons, new house, Butlins, new baby, new car, Buddhism and fatigue.

Cardiff 1/2 Marathon, October 2011

Well, as mentioned back in June I was training for Cardiff 1/2 marathon which I did enter and finished, not in my time of 1 hour 30 minutes but in respectable 1 hour, 44 minutes and 54 seconds. I adjusted my target time as my training wasn't going the best so I just simply went out running for the enjoyment of running. Even so, I set a target of 1:45 which I just ducked inside so I am very happy with that.

Unfortunately, after the race my training stopped as my tiredness and fatigue started to take hold of me again (more about that later). So, as a result I haven't been out running since.

Buying a house

Another huge change in my life is that me and Bernadette have finally stopped renting and bought our own home. It's only taken my 41 years, but I have finally got a mortgage and I am a home owner. We bought a house in the heart of Barry, Wales and moved into the house back in February, 2012. The move from Penarth to Barry went relatively smoothly, I hired a van for 3 days and moved the furniture ourselves. I quite enjoyed being White Van Man for that time, was a bit said to give the van back.

Butlins, another baby and new car

After the move, to give ourselves a nice break, we went back to Butlins in Bognor Regis for a weeks holiday and Robert has been really looking forward to going back there. That's all he had been going on about for the past year. So, we went the week after Easter and, although the weather wasn't the best, we still had a wonderful time.

It was towards the end of the holiday that Bernadette suspected that she might be pregnant, so when we got home we made a quick visit to Boots to get the 'kit' and it confirmed she was pregnant. I wasn't too sure at the time if I wanted to be a dad again, but over past few weeks I have grown to accept it and it might be quite nice to bring up a new baby again. We've been for the first scan, everything is fine and the baby is due 13 December, 2012. The first trimester wasn't the best as Bernadette was very bad morning-noon-and-night sickness, as well as dizziness and tiredness. As a result I had to look after Robert, drop him off and pick him up from school. This didn't help my tiredness, and did effect my work a bit.

Bernadette is now feeling better so things have returned to normal, where she is taking Rob to and from school and I'm catching the train into work. We have also traded in our rusty old Corsa for a bigger Renault Scenic to accommodate the second child seat an excess baby luggage.

Buddhism and my spiritual progress

To get back to what this blog is about, my spiritual progress. Since my move to Barry and I have found it more difficult to get to the Cardiff Sri Chinmoy centre for my meditation. I started to realise that the path I was taking was not working for me and I was feeling it more a hindrance. My meditation had all but stopped and I stopped enjoying my time again, reverting back to how I felt before I started the mindfulness course with Vicki. The ideologies taught by Sri Chinmoy are wonderful and I don't regret for one instance following his teachings and the path. I will even take a lot of what he said with me on my future path.

But I have come to the conclusion that it is the Buddhist path I want to follow and, as such, I've started to meditate every Wednesday at the Barry Meditation Centre which is only a mile down the road from where I live. I have also attend my first Puja  the 24 June at the Cardiff Buddhist Centre which was an amazing experience. I am now back to studying Buddhism and meditating mindfully, and I'm slowly returning to the path of my Journey to Enlightenment.

Fatigue and Acupuncture

One final point, not a good one, is that, as mentioned earlier, my fatigue and tiredness has returned. I have not been out running since last year and all I want to do at the weekends is stay in bed. I'm starting to have difficulty sleeping at night and enjoying my time with my wife and son. As a result, I have started another course of acupuncture with Chinese lady at a place in Bridgend. I have only had 2 treatments, so it's still early days so I'm going to wait and see what happens.

I am determined to either overcome, or even learn to live with my fatigue without a visit to the doctors, although I might arrange an appointment with them just to give myself an M.O.T. and make sure there is nothing more seriously wrong with me. To do this, I am starting to meditate at least once a day, eat healthily and get to bed early. I am keeping a record of everything I do in a private blog, so I'll keep you all informed how I progress in this blog.

That's all folks!

Well, that's a brief summary what I have been up to, when I get the chance again I'll post more. I'll also try a post some more positive messages as well.

om mani padme hum
peace, love and happiness