Self-Transcendence 24 Hour Track Race

Start of my adventure: Penarth, Vale of Glamorgan

Saturday 07:00 - at home in Penarth

It all began on Saturday morning. I was planning to have a lie in as I wanted all the rest I could muster for my own endurance as a counter for the 24 hour race, but I still woke up at about 7 in the morning. So I utilized the time to get some meditation in to prepare myself for the weekend. When my son woke up, about 8ish, I played with him for a few hours then my wife took him to stay with my parents for the night, so I used the opportunity to get a bit of a nap, which I did manage for about an hour. At 12 o'clock midday, just as I woke from my nap, I spared a thought and brief meditation for the runners at Tooting Bec Athletics track just starting their 24 hour race, good luck to them all.

Take the National Express

Saturday 16:00 - at the coach station

Just as the runners were entering their 5th hour into the run, I made my way into Cardiff to catch the bus to London at 5pm, as I was planning to do the midnight to midday shift on Sunday. I popped into Run & Become to have a quick chat with them (most of the staff there are followers of Sri Chinmoy and a few of them are also going to London to help), got a quick sandwich from Gregg's then made my way to the bus station. I said goodbye to my wife, she couldn't come with me as she was working Saturday evening and was busy Sunday, then climbed aboard the National Express to London which left on time. So, a positive start to the journey.

Saturday 17:00 - on the coach to London

It was a beautiful Saturday evening, the runners had reached their 6th hour, and I felt very good about myself and was looking forward to helping at the race, but I was still feeling a bit apprehensive about what it was going to be like. I was also a bit worried about meeting other Sri Chinmoy followers as I had only met a few so far. So I settled into my seat with headphones on to listen to some music to pass the time. I decided to listen to some music by the Police (the group not the men in blue).


Saturday 19:30 - approaching London

As I approached London, I changed my music and listened to some songs by Ananda - peaceful, meditation tunes to prepare myself for the hustle and bustle of London on a Saturday night. At this point, the runners had been on the track for 7 1/2 hours. The journey went by very quick and was improved by the view of the moon rising over London, so as I arrived at Victoria coach station on time (8:20pm) I was very calm and relaxed.

Saturday 21:00 - in London!

Before I caught the tube to Tooting Bec, and the runners were reaching their 10th hour, I was feeling a bit peckish, so I bought a bag of chips from a takeaway just outside Victoria Station before making my way to the underground. Even the tube journey was a pleasant experience so I got to Tooting Bec fully prepared (physically as well as mentally) for my marathon lap recording. I strolled down Tooting Bec Road with my excitement building with each step then I finally reached my desitination, Tooting Bec Athletics Track, earlier than expected at about 9:50pm.

At Tooting Bec Race Track, London

Saturday 22:00 - 10 hours into the race

I entered the stadium as the runners (about 40 of them) were just approaching their 10th hour on the track, and it seemed quite a calm and sedate affair, with occasional cheers coming from the helpers as the runners passed them each lap. I then made my way over to a big marquee sort of thing, with about 10 or 12 people sitting at tables, who I assumed were responsible for recording the lap times of the runners. It was then I saw both Charana and Pabhavati who waved at me to join them. They were both very pleased to see me and the whole atmosphere there was one of happiness and enjoyment, with little or no stress to be seen, considering the race had been going on for almost 10 hours.

After a brief introduction to everyone and a phone call to my wife to say I arrived safely, they asked if I wanted to start logging the times now or go and have a rest first. I thought I might as well start, I could always have a sleep later as I did bring a sleeping bag with me. So Charana explained what was involved, it was very straight forward. Each runner had a number of sheets with the laps and distance on them, and all I had to do was record their time every time they passed the starting line, giving them a shout of encouragement so that they knew I'd seen them. Each helper had 2 or 3 runners to log, so I was given 2 to begin with. So I sat down at a table under a makeshift tent, in Tooting Bec Race track at just before 10 o'clock on Saturday night, ready to log the lap times of runners for the next 14 hours. What had I let myself in for?

Sunday 24:00 - 12 hours into the race (1/2 way)

As the night progressed I started getting into the lap times recording and was beginning to relax and enjoy it. I was getting into the shouts of "Well done. Got-cha. Your doing great" as my allocated runners passed me to let them know I've seen them, logged their time and give a shout of encouragement. The temperature was getting colder, but I had a thick jumper and a warm coat on, and my sleeping bag was wrapped around my legs for added warmth, so I felt quite comfortable. There were other helpers on hand constantly bringing out hot drinks - tea (herbal and normal), coffee and hot chocolate, as well as some simple food - jam, banana or peanut butter sandwiches, which kept us all going through the cold, dark night. Spirits were high and even the runners were smiling every time they passed us, especially as we all made a point to shout out words of support for them. The runners were allowed to walk, run and even take breaks as often and for as long as they wanted, it was quite a relaxed race.

Sunday 04:00 - 16 Hours into the race - change direction!

The hours seemed to pass very quickly, so by 4am I thought I may as well stay until the end, another 8 hours away, as I was on a high from the atmosphere in the tent as well as on the track, or it might have been the amount of caffeine I had consumed. Every 4 hours the competitors did change direction on the track, so went from running clockwise for 4 hours, to anti-clockwise for the next 4 hours, then back to clockwise, and so forth. It was an wonderful experience being at the race track in Tooting at that hour of the morning and it was amazing watching all the athletes who had been running / walking around the track for 16 hours, still with a smile on their faces. It was really inspiring, and that what kept me going through the dark, cold night. One thing I did notice and feel was the sense of calmnes and love amongst all the helpers in the tent with me. None of them moaned about being here, they were here of there own choice and were doing it out of the goodness off there heart and for the love they felt for everything. It is very difficult to put into words what I was feeling, but it was wonderful and made me feel very happy and relaxed, even though I was very tired.

Sunday 06:30 - 18 1/2 hours into the race

As dawn approached and the sky slowly got brighter, everyone realised that the end was in sight and so the excitement and anticipation was escalating. We were all thinking who, and how many, would reach and pass 100 miles, and our cheers of support for all the athletes was getting louder. We were supplied with porridge and apple compote (both helpers and the athletes) at about 7am and then given a full cooked veggie breakfast (for the helpers), which was just what I needed to give me the energy to continue to the end.

Sunday 10:00 - 22 hours into the race

8 o'clock came and went, then 9 am, and 10 o'clock passed. Only 2 hours left to go. Considering how long people had been awake for and how long the runners had been on the track - 22 hours - the atmosphere was still very calm and relaxed. It was then that runners started passing the 100 miles and everyone roared when a runner reached that milestone. 11am came and we all new that the end was very near and the excitement in the stadium was electric. The runners all found reserves of energy to pick up their pace a bit as they were determined to reach there own individual targets. Runners approaching 100 miles were given that extra boost which enabled them to reach and pass it.

Sunday 12:00 - 24 hours

Then as 12 midday approached, 24 hours after all the runners starting, the horn blared out and all the runners collapsed were they stood, with sandbags placed on the track for each runner so their final distance could accurately be measured.

All I can say is what an amazing, wonderful experience, I have never felt anything like this in my life. I had an amazing buzz when I ran London marathon back in 2006 and, although the atmosphere at the marathon was filled with emotion and excitement, this was altogether different. There was an emotion here, but it felt more personal as each athlete on that track had given something extra to compete in and finish the race. We were all absolutely exhausted, especially the runners, but everyone had a smile and their face at the end.

After the race, I helped tidy up, put the tents and equipment away and, just before the results were announced and prizes award, I tucked into a wonderful plate of veggie pasta, and boy did it taste good. The unofficial timing results were announced and 16 runners had ran more than 100 miles, with the winner running just over 129 miles. One runner finished just short of 100 miles, but after the result were checked, he had actually run a distance of 100 miles and 53 yards! Go to the official results web site to see how all the runners got on. Congratulation to all the runners who took part in the race, what an amazing achievement and well done.

What an experience I had over the past 14 hours, my respect goes out to each and every runner for taking part. And the feelings of love, happiness and support for everyone from all the Sri Chinmoy followers was unbelievable, I didn't really appreciate that people could be like this. Although I was feeling absolutely exhausted, I felt an amazing sense of achievement and well-being. I'm going to have to remember these feelings when I'm next having doubt's about myself or I am losing faith.

Sunday 14:00 - 2 hours after the race finished

The journey back home was not as good as coming here, I was very tired and just wanted to get home. The tube journey was fine and gave me chance to relax for 20 minutes. But, due to delays on the M4 and bad weather, it took about 4 hours to reach Cardiff but the amazing feelings a had in Tooting kept me going till I got home.

Have look in the race photo gallery to see all the runners and helpers in action.

Next: Doubts and Uncertainties

Acceptance & 24 Hour Track Race

Acceptance

Why do I always feel the need to be accepted by everyone?

All through my life I've always strived to please other people (friends, work colleagues and family) and do what they think is right, especially when it comes to my family. I've always felt that whatever I do, or don't do, is wrong and they will never be happy and will always criticise me. I've only ever wanted them to be happy with themselves and with me, but I have never been able to achieve this. Is this wrong?

I know my family do love me and they want the best for me, that's why they are always full of advice and suggestion about what I should be doing with my life. I will always listen to them and if their advice is good I will act upon it. But I do have my own life and I want to live it as best as I can my own way, even if I do make mistakes along the way. And sometimes other people may not like the way I'm living my life, but I wish they would just accept it.

Up until now I have never been truly happy with myself or my life. All through my college and university years I felt the need to force myself to fit in with everyone, which included going to night clubs in Cardiff with some of my friends. The clubs were OK but I never really enjoyed the experience of going out to them and simply getting drunk. Since I've left college I still felt I had to fit in with the crowd and do what my peers do. I used to drink alcohol when I went out, visited friends and at home because I felt that was the norm and what was expected of me. It was also how I was brought up to feel it was OK to drink alcohol to excess. I also felt I had to drink to allow myself to relax whenever I went out as I could not have a good time unless I was at least a little bit tipsy. I never used to like the effects of alcohol on the body and I would always feel rotten afterwards.

Now, whenever I visit friends or go to parties at their houses and they offer me a drink, they find it strange when I say I don't drink alcohol at all, not even 1/2 pint of beer or 1 small glass off wine. Why is it that people think it's strange when you say you don't drink alcohol? I'm not going to tell people what they can and cannot do, and I don't think drinking alcohol is a bad thing, as long as it drunk in moderation. But, as a result of the path I'm following, I do not feel the need to have alcohol to relax me and therefore I have chosen not to drink it, as I feel even one drink will have a negative effect on me.

They only person who knows fully about the path I'm following is my wife and she is fully supportive of me and encourages me in every step I take. She is very happy about how it is making me a more calm, relaxed and a nicer person to live with. Also, I have mentioned it to some of my friends and they think it is very good that I'm doing this. I have yet to tell anyone else, especially my family, about the path I'm following as I do feel they will criticise and say I am stupid and wrong for doing this. I don't want to upset them, so not too sure how to go about doing it.

By writing this blog and letting people read it I'm hoping everyone will understand why I'm following this path and what I'm hoping to achieve / have achieved so far. I also want people to understand my true feelings and what I'm currently thinking, and, in doing so, will help them understand me better. I do not want to upset anyone in the process, I just want everyone to be happy. I am open to any questions / comments about what I'm doing, so feel free to leave any comments you want.

Self-Transcendence 24 Hour Track Race

Anyway, I'm off to London tomorrow, Tooting to be precise, to act as a helper for the Self-Transcendence 24 Hour Track Race at Tooting Bec race track, organised by the Sri Chinmoy Athletic Club. It starts at midday on Saturday and finishes midday on Sunday and I will helping as a counter in the second shift from midnight to midday on Sunday. It will be interesting watching and supporting the runners, some of which will have run over 100 miles by time they have finished, some reaching 140 miles or more! It will also be a challenge for me to stay awake that long.

Good night sleep tonight as I'm travelling to London by coach (it's cheaper than the train) at 5pm tomorrow. I will write a report about the race when I get back.

Have a happy and peaceful weekend everyone,

Stephen

Next: Self-Transcendence 24 Hour Track Race

Robert and Cardiff International Pool

Woke up this morning feeling quite good, my sickness had gone and my tummy was feeling better. So my planned outing with Rob to Cardiff's International swimming pool was to go ahead. We did visit the pool yesterday after we went to the White Water centre so Rob could see what it was like, and he liked it and wanted to go swimming today.

All morning Rob was saying he was excited about visiting the pool and, as a result, was going to go there about 12 before we have lunch. The walk from our house, across the new foot bridge that links Penarth to Cardiff, past the Canoe Centre (as Rob calls it) and to the pool was wonderful. Rob didn't stop talking and every so often he would say he was excited.

We arrived at the pool, paid, got changed and entered the fun pool area and it was then I did notice Rob was starting to look a bit worried. So, I thought we should take it easy and not push things too quickly. We went for a little paddle in the shallow end, which he wasn't too sure about and wouldn't sit down, even though I did. At one point he went up to his waist, but didn't stay there long.

We then explored the area a bit more, walking around the pool, carefully avoiding all the splashes and water that was spraying all over the place. One thing he wanted to do was go on the little kiddies slide as he likes slides in the park. We did go up the steps once to it, but he changed his mind so we came back down. After a few more minutes he went back there, queued with the other children ready to go down the slide. There was a sign saying maximum height 1.1 meters, but I did see another dad go down the slide with his son, so I thought it would be OK for me to go down with Robert.

Big mistake! The slide was faster than I thought and I let go of Robert and we both went down the slide. Firstly Rob entered the little pool at the bottom then I followed, creating what looked like a small tidal wave. Rob went under the water and my wave went over him. Then he screamed, he was not happy with that at all. Later on, I did ask him what he didn't like about the slide and he said he did not like the water going in his mouth and eyes.

I carried him away from the slide and took him to quiet area to let him calm down. He eventually did stop crying, but all he kept saying was "I don't like the pool" and "I want to go home". So, after a few minutes of this we went back to the changing area to dry ourself's off and get ready to come home. As we were drying ourself's I noticed blood on his towel, but thankfully it was from me and not him, I hit both my elbows on the edge of the slide as I was coming down!

We then went to cafeteria to try and have something to eat, but by this point Rob was still unhappy and he was also getting very tired. So, we came home so that both of us could have a nap.

I have now got a huge bruise forming on my left elbow where I banged it on the slide, but thankfully my right elbow has stopped bleeding and will not leave much of a scar. The kiddies slide is not designed for adults!

On a positive note, when he woke up the experience did not scare him too much as he did say he wants to go swimming again, just not on the slide. So, I might take him again, not this weekend as I'm busy but possible the following weekend.

Next: Acceptance & 24 Hour Track Race

More ups and downs, but making progress

This week has been an interesting week. My meditation with Charana and Prabhavati went very well on Monday and my understanding of the teachings and ways of Sri Chinmoy has took a good step forward. I'm getting close to finishing Sri Chinmoy's Beyond Within and it has been a very amazing and informative read. It is starting to help me really appreciate and enjoy the world I live in.

Tuesday I went to the doctors to let them know that I will not be taking any more drugs (poisons) to help with my relaxation and sleeplessness. I feel that my mediations and the spiritual path I'm following is doing me far more good then anything the doctor can prescribe, it just takes a bit longer to achieve the end results.

Friday was an amazing day, spiritually. I woke up to a lovely autumn morning. The sun was shining and the sky was an wonderful blue colour with not a cloud in view. My cycle ride from Llantwit Major train station to my office was absolutely amazing and inspiring. The colours in the hedgerows along the country lanes and the blue of the sky was very vivid, I've never experienced anything like this before. I slowed my speed to absorb as much of it as I could. I even stopped where there was a good view over the countryside to take it all in (meditate on it). I stayed there for about 5 minutes and it made me feel very good, it's a wonderful way to start the day. I recommend that more people should do this as it is a good way to relax and make you appreciate everything that's here. It's days like this that make me feel very happy, relaxed and good to be alive. I will also use this feeling to help me in my meditations and also cope with stresses and worries in my day to day life.

Saturday was not so good, woke up in the morning with a very bad stomach, a headache and was very sick, I also had bad diarrhoea later on in the day. My stomach is still feeling delicate as I write this. It was either the Chinese take away I had the night before or it's a stomach bug I picked up. Just completed 30 minutes mediation though and that has made me feel better, spiritually if not physically. Still managed to have a wonderful day with my son, as his smiles and laughter seems to be a cure for all known illnesses, well it takes my mind of them anyway. We had a lovely work across to the new Cardiff International White Water centre, as both me and Rob love watching the Kayaks and rafts going along the course, followed by visit to the coffee shop for a herbal tea for me, a milkshake for my son and some toast and jam for us to share. Rob also likes having a giant cookie with Smarties as a treat. Hopefully tomorrow, if I feel better, I will be taking Rob for his first swim in Cardiff's international pool.

All said and done, despite my dodgy tummy, I am feeling very good, happy and relaxed. Let my journey continue...

Next: Robert and Cardiff International Pool

Ups & Downs, Sleeplessness, Anger, Alcohol and Eating Meat

This week has been a strange week. I know my journey will not be easy and I will not reach my goal overnight, even not in this life time. But it is still difficult and frustrating.

I am still meditating every day, once in the morning when I first get up, normally around 6am and then before bed about 10.30ish. I am struggling to have good meditations this week as I have been feeling very tired, especially at night. This isn't helped by the fact that I am a very restless person and I have trouble sleeping at night.

I have changed my diet over the past few months to help with my relaxation and sleep. About 3 months ago I gave up alcohol and I haven't touched a drop since. I use to have a glass or 2 of whisky or some beer when I got home from work to help me relax, but I still didn't sleep any better as a result and I used to just wake up with a headache. I have also come realise that alcohol was just poisoning my system and was obstructing my meditation and reaching enlightenment.

Next, about a month ago, I gave up eating meat and fish as I feel this was adding to my anger. I felt that by eating meet I was absorbing the stress and unhappiness of the animal which it felt just before it was killed, simply so I could have a beef burger or a sausage. Quorn sausages, burgers and mince does make a good alternative.

Today has been one of my worst in a long time. I have been feeling very tired all weekend and when I tried to go have a few extra hours this morning I was disturbed and my anger got the better of me. I snapped at my wife, did not feel like playing with my son and just felt very unhappy. I have been to the doctors about me not sleeping and all they done was prescribe my some antidepressants to help me relax and sleep at night. All that achieved, because of the side effects, was to make me more angry and unhappy. I stopped taking the tablets a few weeks ago and I am going back to the doctors on Tuesday to let them know that I do not want to take anything that will pollute my system. I am not feeling depressed anymore as a result of my mediation and I do not need to take any pills for depression.

All said and done, since I have given up drinking alcohol and eating meat, my general feeling of well-being has increased and I have never felt happier. This week, and especially today, has just been a blip, and after meditating just now I have manage to sedate my anger. My sleep problems I am determined to solve more naturally and will not be taking drugs again.

Next week is going to be a better week, but here and now I am going to be happy.

Next: More ups and downs, but making progress

Buddhism and Sri Chinmoy

May - September 2010

As my meditation progressed and improved during the mindfulness meditation course, I was interested in taking my meditation further and exploring new ways of meditating. I instantly thought of Buddhism and started reading about this and the life of Buddha. I also bought a A Simple Path by the Dalai Lama to read up on his teachings about Buddhism.

Reading about the life and philosophies of the Buddha was extraordinary and made me realise that maybe this is what I have been searching for all my life. The whole concept behind Buddhism, the peace, loving-kindness and acceptance of everyone no matter what race, creed or religion was what I have been striving for. Having been brought up a Christian, firstly Church in Wales and then Catholic, I found this too restrictive and a lot of so called Christians I've met who do go to church do not necessarily practice what they preach. Also, too many wars have been fought in the name of religion and I was getting fed up with it.

Buddhism I discovered was different. It is all about peace, acceptance and non-violence. So towards the end of my meditation course with Vicki, I went in search of another meditation group to join, something to allow me to take my meditation that one step closer to enlightenment. It's during my search I came across a little card in Halcyon Daze on Wellfield Road, Cardiff advertising this free meditation group in the Temple of Peace in Cardiff. My wife suggested I go along to try it out and that's where I fist met Charana who was giving talks about Sri Chinmoy and meditation. This new path began for me on 10th May, 2010 on a Monday night.

This was a more spiritual path and form of meditation than I was use to and thought that maybe it was not for me. But I went back for a few more weeks, listened to more of his talks and started practising this form of meditation. As the weeks progressed I started getting a greater sense of peace and joy from meditation. I have now been reading a couple of books by Sri Chimnoy about his philosophies, teachings and his meditation techniques and it has been quite inspiring. I did not realise I could have this much love and happiness in my life, but as a result of the meditation I am now enjoying my life.

Sri Chinmoy, who sadly passed away in October 2007, was an Indian spiritual teacher and philosopher who emigrated to the U.S. in 1964. His teachings emphasize love for God, daily meditation on the heart, service to the world, and religious tolerance (a view that "all faiths" are essentially divine) (quote from Wikipedia). This is very similar to the Buddhism philosphy about tolerance and acceptance, also peace and love towards all things.

For proof of how far I progressed, at the end of August I went and stayed with my wife's parents and normally I feel so uncomfortable staying with them and I tended to isolate myself from them. This time it was different. I actually felt happy, calm and relaxed and really enjoyed my time with them. My wife's mother even commented to her how different I was, that I seemed more happy and joined in with them more. Normally when I visit them I can't wait to leave and come home, but this time I was upset that I had to come home. So, there is something in this meditation that is helping me.

I have now been going to the group on a Monday, meditating on Sri Chinmoy with Charana (my teacher) and his wife Prabhavati. I still have a long way to go, but what an experience I've had so far. I have also had my downs as well us my ups, sometimes doubting if the meditation is worth it and if it is actually making a difference, and I'm still finding it difficult putting everything I've learnt so far into practice. It takes a lot of commitment to continue with the meditation, but I now have a goal and sense of purpose, so I can ride out the bad days as I know they will improve.

Now you're up to date with my progress so far, I will try and add regular posts to keep you informed on how I'm progressing.

Peace, love and happiness to you all,

Stephen

Next: Ups & Downs, Sleeplessness, Anger, Alcohol and Eating Meat

Mindfulness Meditation

January - May 2010

As I said, off I went on Wednesday night to my first Mindfulness Meditation class not knowing what to expect. It was quite a relaxed group with a handful of people from all walks of life with a variety of different problems and, like me, a bit sceptical. The course consisted of the teacher introducing us to mindfulness, what it is and how it would help us in our day to day lives. We only done about 15 / 20 minutes worth of meditation but it was good talking to people about my problems and listening to them. Once the class finished she encouraged us to meditate for about 5 minutes a day for at least 5 days.

After the first class I did feel there might be something in this and I thought I'd give it a go. So, I meditated every day for at least 10 minutes and I did feel something, but still did not know what. I explained what was happening to the teacher and the other students and they encouraged me to keep it going. Each class consisted off learning about different areas of mindfulness and encouraging us to increase our meditation from 5 minutes up to about 30 minutes. Vicki also taught different types of meditation, including walking and standing, as well as sitting meditation. She also told us how to be mindful of all situations in day to day life.

After the first 4 weeks, on my 39th birthday, my wife said that she noticed how relaxed I was becoming and that I was not shouting at at her as often as I used too. In fact she was beginning to enjoy my company again. So we both agreed that I should finish the course, which consisted of another 6 classes, and see how I get on.

By the end of the 10 weeks, I felt like I was a new person. My meditation had increased to about 20 to 30 minutes every day, sometimes twice a day, and I was able to cope with my day to day life, at home and in work. I had stopped getting angry at my wife and was again enjoying spending time with her and my son. I was also enjoying seeing the world in new way using mindfulness. It was amazing.

After reading a couple of books on mindfulness, Full Catastrophe Living: How to Cope with Stress, Pain and Illness Using Mindfulness Meditation by John Kabat-Zinn and The Mindful Way Through Depression by Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal and Jon Kabat-Zinn. I wanted to take this further.

So, after the Easter break, I went back for a second course with the same teacher at the same place. This time it was a proper 6 weeks course and pushed us more to do longer and more intense meditations, which was just what I wanted. By the end of the course I was meditating more at home, in the morning when I first wake up and at night before bed, and was more mindful of everything.

During this course I had bought a little folding bike to start cycling into work and to improve my fitness, I was also beginning not to enjoy driving as I was finding it too stressful. I got a folding bike (see picture above) because I needed to catch a train to work as it is just too far to cycle from Penarth to Llantwit Major, and a folding bike seemed the best option as I can fit it in a car if I needed a lift, as well as on the train. Whilst cycling down some of the country lanes outside Llantwit Major to my office, which consisted of a farm and lovely green hedgerows, I was beginning to notice how wonderful everything was and how vibrant the colours were. This helped me relax even more and I used this as a form of meditation.

Once the course finished at the end of May 2010, both myself and my wife were amazed by the change in me. I was a much happier and relaxed person, I was able to enjoy everything I do and my anger had all but gone. If I did feel myself snapping, I was able to control it and not get so angry. I would recommend mindfulness meditation to anyone who want to control there anger or overcome depression. It can even be used to help control and overcome physical pain as well.

Once the course finished at the end of May 2010, both myself and my wife were amazed by the change in me. I was a much happier and relaxed person, I was able to enjoy everything I do and my anger had all but gone. If I did feel myself snapping, I was able to control it and not get so angry. I would recommend mindfulness meditation to anyone who want to control their anger or overcome depression. It can even be used to help control and overcome physical pain as well.

Next, Buddhism and Sri Chinmoy.

The start of my journey

Welcome everyone to my incredible journey on a path that will hopefully make me understand more about what I was placed on this earth to do and who I really am.

January 2010

It all started about a month before my 39th birthday in January, 2010. Up until then I was not certain what I really wanted from life or who I actually was. I was getting angry and frustrated with myself and was taking this out on other people, especially my wife and son. I was becoming very angry, very, very depressed and was not enjoying life at all. It had reached a stage where I had to sort this problem out or, well, I do not want to imagine what the alternative would be.

My first solution was to go to the docs to get some tablets to calm me down and help me sleep, but this would be my last resort as I preferred to solve this using more natural methods rather than polluting my body with poisons. I did try herbal remedies but they did not help.

Then, at the start of January 2010, my wife discovered a website offering courses in Mindfulness Meditation. I was very dubious and sceptical, but after a few emails to the teacher, Vicki, about the course I convinced myself to go along and try it out. It was a drop in course where you paid on the night so I didn't have to commit myself to anything. So off I went on the Wednesday night, 20th January, to Insole Court in Cardiff with an open mind and not too sure what to expect.

Next: Mindfulness Meditation