Barry & District News article

Ambulance staff help Barry baby make a speedy arrival - on the stairs!

A BARRY family welcomed their new son into the world in double quick time, after he couldn't wait for hospital - and made his grand entrance at the bottom of the stairs in the family home!

Daniel Emrys Julian Wyn Katchi, who had been due to be born at Cardiff's University Hospital of Wales on December 13, decided to keep his family waiting for eight days - before making a very swift entrance into the Woodland Road household on December 21, in time for a family Christmas!

And three senior Welsh Ambulance Service personnel, who were volunteering to help out on one of the busiest days of the year, and an Ambulance Service call-taker were on hand to help with a safe delivery.

Mum Bernadette, dad Stephen and their five-year-old son Robert had earlier been enjoying a coffee at Marco's Café - followed by fish and chips - before dealing with their unusual delivery.

Qualified nanny Bernadette, who had suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum and a pelvic displacement during pregnancy, said she had made a throw-away comment in jest while at Barry Island.

The 39-year-old said: "One of the guys asked 'how far gone are you? Don't give birth here!' - and I said to him 'don't you know how long it takes to give birth?'!"
But when her contractions began rapidly increasing at home later on, the couple dialled 999 and prepared for action - while five-year-old Robert covered his ears, pulled his Santa hat over his eyes, and sat in front of CBeebies!

Software engineer Stephen, 41, said: "Bernadette was kneeling at the bottom of the stairs in great pain.

"I was advised by the hospital that we wouldn’t make it in time if I went by car.
"The Welsh Ambulance Service call-taker - Ian Powell - told me that the ambulance was on its way, but warned me that there was a chance I might have to deliver the baby myself."

Bernadette took to what she found was the most comfortable place and Stephen leapfrogged her to gather a blanket from the bed and half a dozen towels - preparing to use 'expert' knowledge he had gathered from watching medical programmes on TV.

"I just found adrenaline took over," he said. "I've seen things on TV, and I was there when Robert was born. If I had to, I could do it." Paramedics Richard Lee and Robin Petterson turned up just under seven minutes later.

"The ambulance call-taker was fantastic and gave me lots of advice about what do," added Stephen. "Within 15 minutes of the paramedics' arrival, our baby son was born with their help at the bottom of the stairs as my wife was in too much pain to be moved elsewhere.

"We had a bit of a scare as the umbilical cord was wrapped around the baby's neck several times, but one of the paramedics calmly unwrapped it, and the baby was fine.

"Baby went on to his mother’s chest, I cut the cord, and our new son was born!"
He added: "They looked after her then for the final stage of the delivery as I looked after our new baby, and then took her to hospital about an hour later."
Welsh Ambulance Service’s head of service for the Cardiff and Vale area, Bob Tooby, was out assisting the ambulance crew on the day - which is known as 'Bleak Friday'.

"It is known as one of the busiest days of the year for the Welsh Ambulance Service, mainly due to an epidemic of office parties and last minute wishes to end the year with a bonding session that can often mean drinking far more than one would normally consume," he said. "None of us knew that the shift would start with a complicated birth at the foot of a narrow stairway.

"Co-ordination was key. This included Richard Lee (clinical head of service) delivering the baby with the cord wrapped several times around the baby’s throat, through to Robin Petterson (clinical team leader) co-ordinating the medical equipment and hospital arrangements.

"And it extended to myself holding the bin bags for the placenta, and babysitting for Stephen and Bernadette’s young son Robert, who was very frightened every time he heard his mother scream.

"This was a team effort that was later supported by a very welcome midwife who travelled with the ambulance staff to hospital."

Daniel was born at 5.50pm - give or take ten minutes - weighing 7lb 1oz.
And the family said they had experienced one of their best Christmases ever - eating fish, chips and vegetarian sausages - with traditional festivity plans having gone awry.

Bernadette and Stephen thanked the Welsh Ambulance Service staff, family friend Alina Davies, and Gillian McCabe and her staff at the Women's Health Unit for their support throughout.

Stephen added: "I would like to say a big thank you to them, and mum and baby are now doing fine."

Pregnancy and a new baby

My last post was back in July 2012 where I mentioned that Bernadette was pregnant with our 2nd child, we had just bought our first house, second car and I was fully embracing Buddhism.

Pregnancy

Most people would say that the thought of my wife having a 2nd child should have been a happy occasion and I should be filled with joy. But, I didn't think I was prepared or able to cope with another child as I was still suffering with fatigue. Also, it didn't help that Bernadette had very bad morning, noon and night sickness for the first half of the pregnancy and then very bad SPD (pelvic pain) and she was on crutches for the last couple of months.

I was feeling myself getting more and more depressed as the 'big day' approached in December and was not looking forward to being a dad for a second time. Bernadette started having labour pains at about 4:30pm on Friday, 21st December so I called the midwife. She said there was nothing to worry about so just keep an eye on the contractions.

But by about 5pm, she was in agony and screaming in pain, so I dialled 999 to call for an ambulance. Bernadette, in the meantime was kneeling at the bottom of the stairs as this helped her a bit, and Robert was in the living room with cbeebies on but screaming as loud is his mother.

One thing to point out that it was the Friday before Christmas (Black Friday) and the traffic was bad and the ambulance service was really stretched.

The operator then said that an ambulance is on it's way but there is a chance that I may have to deliver the baby myself. So I hurdled Bernadette grabbed a handful of towels and blankets to but below here and prepared myself, all the while the operator was keeping me calm by telling me what to do.

At the bottom of the stairs!

Thankfully, the paramedics turned up 15 minutes later and the delivered the baby, and one of them, who was also called Rob, stayed with our Robert to try and keep him calm. Bernadette couldn't move from the stairs so the paramedics had to deliver the baby where she lay. As a result, our 2snd baby boy, Daniel, was born on 21st December, 2012 at 5:50pm at the bottom of the stairs on our house in Barry!

After the birth I sat on our chair in the living room watching In the Night Garden with the new born baby in my arms, whilst the paramedics helped Bernadette with the final stage of the delivery. The afterbirth took longer to come out than the baby did.

Because I was still a bit panicky I called a very good friend, Alina who only lives a couple of minutes away, to come to our house to help me with the new baby and look after Robert for the night, who had finally stopped screaming! She helped me bit a nappy on the baby and then took Robert back to her house for the night. I need to say a very big Thank You to Alina and her family for being able to help is, she is one amazing and special friend. 

Bernadette then went to the University Hospital of Wales (UHW) in Cardiff and I had to take the new baby in my card as there was no way to transport the baby in the Ambulance. I must be the only dad who delivered the baby to the hospital. She had to have a bit of work done, such as stitches, and they had to move a blood clot from inside her that was almost bigger than the baby.

I've got to say this was the most exciting and frightening experiences I've ever been through and I've got to praise the 999 operator who kept me calm and explained what I had to do, as well as the paramedics for delivering the baby.

We even made it onto the front page of the local Barry & District news, I'll post the write up so you can read it. 

That's it for now and that's how I ended 2012 by becoming a new dad. My next post will by a summary of 2013, being a dad for the second time and my continuing Journey.

I just wanted to post this...

My wife turned up to my office the other day and said "Robert's in the phone". I said to her, "Don't you mean Robert's ON the phone"? She said, "No, he's definately IN the phone!" Have a look for yourself :-D

HELLO. I'M IN DADDY'S PHONE!

And I had to get the following photo on here. I pass it every day on my walk into work, and each time it still brings a smile to my face.

Feed me your rubbish!

It's in a little playground in Bridgend and I think it's a wonderful idea to get children to use the bin for their rubbish.

Kiddies playground in Bridgend

I always like images that bring a smile to my face, it make me feel good.

Buddhism

Now that I have fully welcomed Buddha into my life, and embraced the Buddhist path and way of living, I am feeling wonderful. Summer has finally arrived, the sun is hovering overhead in a clear blue sky and I am feeling happy with myself and life. Maybe it's the course of accupuncture treatments I'm having to help with my insomnia and general fatigue, or maybe it's the meditation, or a combination of both, but I'm not complaining, I'm enjoying it.

Insomnia is actually a good thing for a Buddhist who wants a regular meditation practice, in a weird sort of way. Take last night for instance. It was a hot, muggy night and even after my weekly meditation at the Barry Meditation Center, where we done a walking meditation followed by a 6 stage elements meditation, I still could not get 2 sleep. By 1am I was up, in front of my shrine meditating, which always helps. Managed to get to sleep by 3, but still woke up at 6 in time for my morning meditation. I wake up most morning between 5.30 and 6, so you can see the life of an insomniac means that I always have time for meditation.

I had my accunpuncture session today, needles in my legs, arms and head, and I think I actually fell asleep at one point and started snoring, but the therapist didn't say anything. A couple of weeks ago I wasn't enjoying my life much, always tired, couldn't get the energy or enthusiasm to do much. But now I back to enjoying life, enjoying the summer and generally being happy.

One final point today, I mentioned in an earlier post that I might need to arrange to see my GP about my  fatigue / sleepless night. Well, the way I have been feeling this week I don't think I need to, although I'll see how I am over the next few weeks.

om mani padme hum
peace, love and happiness

Mindful Moment

For the past few months, if not since last year, I have been rushing through life, letting things get to me and focusing on all the bad and unpleasant events in my life. But, now I'm back on my journey, I have been slowing down and trying to enjoy my life. It is difficult, but I think I'm getting there.

Something that is long overdue is a mindful moment, something which I used to have a lot of when I first started meditating, but which has been missing from my life. It happened whilst I was waiting for the train on Barry Docks station a few days ago.

View from Barry Docks station

To set the scene, the train station has got a nice view over the docks toward the Bristol Channel, then across to the coast of England. The train was running a few minutes late and normally I just let this annoy me. This time, I stood looking across the docks and noticed the sky. It was a pleasant, sunny day, with a mixture of blue sky, high clouds and fast moving lower clouds. It was so beautiful. I simply stood there, until the train arrived, watching the clouds float by without thinking of anything. I was just enjoying the shape, structure and colour of the clouds and the sensation of calmness it brought in me.

Sunrays over Barry Docks

Since then, I'm trying to do this more often. You can do this with any object, man made or natural. Just try looking at the object without analysing it or thinking about what it is. Don't look at clouds and start thinking thoughts such as, "Is it going to rain?", "I wish I brought my brolly, I'm going to get wet now.", "Did I leave the washing on the line?", etc. Just look at the clouds and enjoy the natural beauty of them, the form, structure and the way they do slowly change form as they drift across the sky.

You can do this with any thing. Don't look at a car and think "I would like one of those. I wonder how much it costs or how fast it goes?" Look at the colour, texture, the way the light reflects of the paint work, etc. Look around you and start enjoying the beauty of everything, man-made as well as natural, I most certainly intend to do this. I want to stop passing judgement and analysing everything. Like the clouds, I want to enjoy the beauty of life and the world, not just let it roll by without even noticing it. I want to live life moment by moment.

Panaromic view from Barry Docks station

My journey continues...

om mani padme hum
peace, love and happiness

What Have I Been Up To?

What Have I Been Up To?

Well, I definitely have been a bit lapse with my posting, it's been over a year since my last post. So, what have I been up to? It has been a busy 13 months - 1/2 marathons, new house, Butlins, new baby, new car, Buddhism and fatigue.

Cardiff 1/2 Marathon, October 2011

Well, as mentioned back in June I was training for Cardiff 1/2 marathon which I did enter and finished, not in my time of 1 hour 30 minutes but in respectable 1 hour, 44 minutes and 54 seconds. I adjusted my target time as my training wasn't going the best so I just simply went out running for the enjoyment of running. Even so, I set a target of 1:45 which I just ducked inside so I am very happy with that.

Unfortunately, after the race my training stopped as my tiredness and fatigue started to take hold of me again (more about that later). So, as a result I haven't been out running since.

Buying a house

Another huge change in my life is that me and Bernadette have finally stopped renting and bought our own home. It's only taken my 41 years, but I have finally got a mortgage and I am a home owner. We bought a house in the heart of Barry, Wales and moved into the house back in February, 2012. The move from Penarth to Barry went relatively smoothly, I hired a van for 3 days and moved the furniture ourselves. I quite enjoyed being White Van Man for that time, was a bit said to give the van back.

Butlins, another baby and new car

After the move, to give ourselves a nice break, we went back to Butlins in Bognor Regis for a weeks holiday and Robert has been really looking forward to going back there. That's all he had been going on about for the past year. So, we went the week after Easter and, although the weather wasn't the best, we still had a wonderful time.

It was towards the end of the holiday that Bernadette suspected that she might be pregnant, so when we got home we made a quick visit to Boots to get the 'kit' and it confirmed she was pregnant. I wasn't too sure at the time if I wanted to be a dad again, but over past few weeks I have grown to accept it and it might be quite nice to bring up a new baby again. We've been for the first scan, everything is fine and the baby is due 13 December, 2012. The first trimester wasn't the best as Bernadette was very bad morning-noon-and-night sickness, as well as dizziness and tiredness. As a result I had to look after Robert, drop him off and pick him up from school. This didn't help my tiredness, and did effect my work a bit.

Bernadette is now feeling better so things have returned to normal, where she is taking Rob to and from school and I'm catching the train into work. We have also traded in our rusty old Corsa for a bigger Renault Scenic to accommodate the second child seat an excess baby luggage.

Buddhism and my spiritual progress

To get back to what this blog is about, my spiritual progress. Since my move to Barry and I have found it more difficult to get to the Cardiff Sri Chinmoy centre for my meditation. I started to realise that the path I was taking was not working for me and I was feeling it more a hindrance. My meditation had all but stopped and I stopped enjoying my time again, reverting back to how I felt before I started the mindfulness course with Vicki. The ideologies taught by Sri Chinmoy are wonderful and I don't regret for one instance following his teachings and the path. I will even take a lot of what he said with me on my future path.

But I have come to the conclusion that it is the Buddhist path I want to follow and, as such, I've started to meditate every Wednesday at the Barry Meditation Centre which is only a mile down the road from where I live. I have also attend my first Puja  the 24 June at the Cardiff Buddhist Centre which was an amazing experience. I am now back to studying Buddhism and meditating mindfully, and I'm slowly returning to the path of my Journey to Enlightenment.

Fatigue and Acupuncture

One final point, not a good one, is that, as mentioned earlier, my fatigue and tiredness has returned. I have not been out running since last year and all I want to do at the weekends is stay in bed. I'm starting to have difficulty sleeping at night and enjoying my time with my wife and son. As a result, I have started another course of acupuncture with Chinese lady at a place in Bridgend. I have only had 2 treatments, so it's still early days so I'm going to wait and see what happens.

I am determined to either overcome, or even learn to live with my fatigue without a visit to the doctors, although I might arrange an appointment with them just to give myself an M.O.T. and make sure there is nothing more seriously wrong with me. To do this, I am starting to meditate at least once a day, eat healthily and get to bed early. I am keeping a record of everything I do in a private blog, so I'll keep you all informed how I progress in this blog.

That's all folks!

Well, that's a brief summary what I have been up to, when I get the chance again I'll post more. I'll also try a post some more positive messages as well.

om mani padme hum
peace, love and happiness

Running and Impatience. Spritual progress

Running

Well, I am am still continuing with my running and have entered Cardiff half marathon so there is no stopping now. I have even started running into work instead of cycling to get my mileage up.

The problem is I am a bit impatient, I would like to be running at at least a 7 minute mile pace as I would like to do 1 hour 30 minutes or better in the half marathon and after 3 weeks of running I have not achieved that pace. I did start letting this distract me too much, but on Wednesday on the train going into work, I decided to meditate for 5 minutes as I approached Llantwit station and calm myself before my 3 mile run into work.

During my run as well, I was not worried about what pace I was doing or how far I've got to run, I simply got into a rhythm and enjoyed the run. As a result of this I felt very good during the run and did actually do my fastest time so far running from Llantwit station to my office. My average pace for the month so far is 8:24 per mile, but that is not what matters, I must remember to run to enjoy it and not to let it worry me that I'm not running as fast as I would like. I've only been back running for 4 weeks so I must learn to be patient and let things happen when they are supposed to happen and not try and force it too much.

So I am not back to enjoying my running and I do feel good about myself.  You can keep track of my progress on Endomondo web site, where you can view my workouts, both cycling and running, and see where I've run and how far. I use the app on my Android phone to log all my workouts, it's a very nice little tool making good use of the phones features.

So far, as of today (Friday 17 June), according to Endomondo I have run a total distance of 57.86 miles in a time of 8h:15m:59s over 19 workouts. My average pace is 8m:34s so that is not too bad. One nice little feature, it says I've burned 6484 callories which is equivalent to 12 burgers! I wonder if they are veggie burgers?

Spiritual progress

So far my spiritual progress has not been going too good, it seems like I am struggling to find my true self and meaning. The past couple of weeks have not been the best spiritually, and I have been a bit lapse with my meditations and, when I do meditate, I have not really gained anything from them. I went camping at the start of the month with Bernadette, Robert and some of out friends, but it didn't prove that successful and I came back from the trip not feeling too happy. I wanted a perfect camping trip and I was expecting too much from it and that didn't help at all. This was wrong as I should have enjoyed the trip and overcome all the problems and upsets that happened, but I was unable to do it. I felt a bit of a failure.

Even though I have been running and that has been making me feel good, I still could not get back into my mediation. I felt I was spiralling out of control. But, as a result of my run on Wednesday and a successful meditation at the Sri Chinmoy centre that evening, I feel I am now back on the path as I am feeling happy again as I am starting to get some control back to my life.

Running Again :-)

Just to recap, I started running back in May 2001 were I trained for Cardiff Marathon in September that year. Training went well and I completed the marathon in a respectable time of 3 hours 38 minutes, if I remember right. Since then I went on to run quite a few other marathons, half marathon and shorter races but never beating my time I set in Cardiff marathon. My best time for a half marathon was 1 hour 34 minutes.

I finally managed to gain entry into London Marathon in 2006 by running for Ty Hafan children hospice. I was hoping to run faster than 3 hours 30 minutes and beat my PB, but it never happened. At 13 miles I was on target for 3:30 but by about 20 miles I started to flag, but thanks to the cheers of the crown, I half ran, half hobbled the final 6 miles and still finished in 3 hours 44 minutes. Running London Marathon was one of the most amazing experiences of my life and something I will never forget. If I got time I might write up more about it.

Because I pushed myself so much in my training and the race, I decided to have a break from running for a couple of months to let my legs recover. During that time my wife got pregnant and my wonderful son was born and I found it more and more difficult to get back into my running. As I've mentioned in previous posts, my fatigue started to get worse, I wasn't sleeping well at night and I started getting very depressed. As a result, my break for a couple of months unfortunately lasted for 5 years!!!

Now I'm back out running, done two 3 1/2 mile runs this week through Penarth Mariner and I am hoping to get my fitness back up to enter Cardiff marathon. Using Endomondo on my HTC Desire, a GPS tracking app which logs run including, distance, times, running speed and route, my workouts were:

Monday 23 May - 3.44 miles in 32m:28s
Thursday 28 May - 3.55 miles in 30m:20s

I'm improving already.

I've put my motivation for my running thanks to the inspiration I received from the Sri Chimnoy disciples and the races I helped organise. I now go out running not with the aim to run further or faster, although I do like to achieve this, but for the enjoyment of running and using it as a meditation to "unlock the true potential of the human spirit" (Sri Chinmoy).

Although I've only been running twice, I have never felt better and I will be going out for another run tonight. This is another positive step along my Journey to Enlightenment

Self-Transcendence and Meditation Healing

Well, since my previous post over a week ago I have been making amazing progress in my search for enlightenment (god). I don't think I have ever felt better and at peace with myself and the world. I've had a busy but relaxing 10 days that has helped me find myself. I've help organise the Self Transcendence 2 mile race in Cardiff last Friday (13 May) and, following that, me and Bernadette spent the weekend at the Self Realization Meditation Centre in Llandeilo, Wales to celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary on the Sunday. Both these events were amazing and inspiring.

Since I've started my acupuncture and stopped the medication from the doctors, I find that I am beginning to get a better nights sleep, although still restless, but I am waking up in the mornings feeling more positive. I am also able to continue this feeling throughout the day, even when bad things happen, and it is making me feel a lot more happier. Also, after finally accepting Sri Chinmoy as my guru (teacher) and becoming one of his disciples then I can relax even more as I now got meaning to my life.

The feelings and emotions I've been feeling since my anniversary are amazing, I feel so much love not just for my wife and son, but for everyone and everything. This is absolutely wonderful, may this feeling long continue.

Peace, love and happiness to everyone.

7th Wedding Anniversary

14th - 16th May, 2011

Whilst I was helping out at the Self-Transcendence 2 mile run, my wife was busy trying to find a vegetarian B&B or guest house for us to stay for our anniversary. We had arranged for my parents to look after Robert from Saturday afternoon until Monday so we thought that it would be nice to get away for a couple of days. After hours of searching Bernadette booked two nights at the Self Realization Meditation Healing Centre in Llandeilo, Carmarthenshire in West Wales. This was a surprise as I am really into meditation and spirituality and Bernadette isn't, so this is my blog of how it went.

Self Realization Meditation Healing Centre, Wales

After a pleasant journey west from Cardiff we arrive at the centre at about 6.30 and our host for the weekend had a lovely vegetarian meal and a smile ready for us as we arrived. We enjoyed this in the lounge with a proper log burning fire to warm us up. After our meal, we were shown to our room and she explained we were the only people staying for the weekend so we had unique use of the bathroom and the lounge.

Meditation would be at 7.30pm that day and Sunday, as well as 6.45am tomorrow morning then 6.30 on Monday. My wife thought, "Great! Whilst Stephen is meditating I can watch the Eurovision song contest without being disturbed." This was when we were told that there was no TV or a radio in the centre, so she couldn't even listen to the song contest. We didn't even have a mobile phone signal in the area, it was as if we were cut off from the outside world. This come as a huge shock to Bernadette, but luckily she found a cupboard with some games and jigsaws in there, so she started doing one of the jigsaws.

The meditation was based on the teachings of the guru Mata Yogananda Mahasaya Dharma, and in the meditation room they had a picture of here on the wall. Their focus, as quoted on their website, "is on providing teaching, care, nurturing, clearing of emotions and balancing of body, mind and spirit for all who desire peace, harmony, health and progress." The meditation sessions over the weekend which were about an hour each time was amazing, even though there was only 2 of us there. After each session I felt a tremendous feeling of calm and happiness.

Sunday, 15th May 2011 - Our 7th Wedding Anniversary

I got up at 6 to have a shower before my early morning meditation at 6.45am, needless to say that my wife for 7 years stayed in bed. Then, after waking my wife up at 8.30 and wishing her happy anniversary, we had a lovely cooked veggie breakfast (Quorn sausages). Once breakfast was finished we went for a drive to see if anywhere was opening in this part of Wales. We ended up in Llandeilo and it was there where we found this amazing ice cream and chocolate shop called Heavenly, and it was definitely heavenly by name and heavenly by nature. We both had an ice cream each, which is something of a tradition as we had an My Whippy ice cream after our photo shoot at South Stack lighthouse in Anglesey on out Wedding Day. The ice cream was amazing and the amount we had for one portion was equivalent to at least three scoops of the ice cream I had in London a couple of weeks ago. Bernadette also bought a reduced Easter egg with actual, edible gold leafs on it. This was definitely the wife's version of Heaven.

After that we went for another little drive and ended up in Lampeter, were we had a very nice meal in The Royal Oak pub. We then went back to the the B&B where we explored the grounds around the centre before my evening meditation. During my meditation Bernadette stayed in the grounds and took lots of photos, some of which can be seen in my flickr album, we then relaxed in front of the log fire for the rest of the evening.

We were both sorry to leave on the Monday, and, despite not having a TV and radio, Bernadette really enjoyed her stay. I felt spiritually refreshed as it was good to meditate with another spiritual person on a slightly different path to myself. It's a pity the centre in Wales is up for sale, for reasons I won't go into in my blog, as I would love to stay there again and it is very relaxing and in such a beautiful part of Wales. I returned home with such an amazing feeling of love for my wife and felt very at peace with myself.

Happy Anniversary Bernadette and thank you for such a wonderful weekend, I love you so very much.

Self-Transcendence 2 Mile Race

Pontcanna Fields, Cardiff, 13th May 2011

In May, June and July every year the Sri Chinmoy Marathon Team organises and runs a series of Self-Transcendence races in Cardiff, a 2 mile, 3 mile and 4 mile race as well as a relay. Since I am now a disciple I do like to help out with all the events as much as I can so I took the day of from work to help at the 2 mile race. I turned up at the Run and Become shop in Cardiff at about 3pm to load up the card with signs, medals, mallets, stakes and all sorts of items needed for the race, I was surprised to fit it all in my little Corsa.

We didn't leave the shop until about 4.30 and the race was due to start at 7, so we made a dash for Pontcanna Fields to start setting up the race. We quickly drove around the course attaching arrows, warning signs and mile markers to trees, posts, stakes (now you know why we needed them) to help the runners follow the course and warn other people that there was a race in progress. Registration was supposed to start at about 6.20, but we didn't finish setting up the course until about 6.25 and tents et al was still locked up in Charana's car. People were being registered from the back of one of the other disciples car, which looked strange and not efficient, but due to the spiritual nature of the race all the runners seemed to take it in their stride with very little complaining.

As a result the race started 10 minutes late, but the runners didn't mind and it was a huge success with over 130 runners taking part, more than any other year. I think all the runners enjoyed the race, the ones I spoke to at the end said it was a good race. Once we all packed up, me and some of the other disciples went for a vegetarian curry, which was well deserved, I then went home.

What a wonderful and inspiring day. Even though the race started late and we were delayed setting up the course, it was still a calm and peaceful day. The smiles on the runners as well as the disciples faces said it all. I went home to my wife at 10.30pm tired but very, very happy.

I'm back. Doctors, acupuncture, becoming a disciple and house buying

I have been a bit lapse with updating my blog lately, by now I'm going to try and update at least once a week,  more often if something of significance happens in my life. But just to bring you up to since my last blog Thoughts in December, my life has taken a new step and changed for the better.

It was a long hard winter, problems with the car, the weather was very cold with lots of snow and short, dull days that did not help with my mental well-being and achieving happiness. Also I have also been having trouble with people close to me, accepting who I am and not just simply trying to cause arguments and misunderstanding my intentions. Also, we couldn't get to North Wales to spend Christmas with my parent-in-laws as the car was not working (dead battery) due the cold weather and the weather was to bad to travel anyway. This upset my wife as we were both  really looking forward to spending Christmas with here parents.

I've been continuing with my meditation and that did help me get through January and I was beginning to feel happier with myself, although I was still feeling very tired at the weekends and not getting much sleep at night. Been back and forth to the doctors about this and all she has been doing is prescribing me one anti-depressant tablet after another, she thinks that I must be depressed, although I don't think I am. Having taken them for almost 3 months with no results, I have stopped as I have started on a course of acupuncture with the Chinese herbalist in Penarth. I shall write more about this in a future blog, but needless to say I think it is working as my sleep, although not that long, is improving and I'm feeling better in the morning. I'm going to the docs on Wednesday and I'm going to tell her once and for all that I no longer need to take any of her drugs.

One other change in my life, and one I will never regret, is that on the 7 February, 2011 I officially become a disciple of Sri Chinmoy. This involves meditating at the Sri Chinmoy centre in Cardiff every Wednesday and Sunday evening at 7.30pm as well as my daily meditations at home. I have also been to a couple of Joy days at the centre in London, more about these in a future blog. But what an wonderful experience I'm having and all the other disciples are such an amazing, happy group of people. As a result of this I have never been happier or more contented with my life. I think this is what I have been looking for.

I've also been on holiday with my wife, son and parents to Butlins in Bognor Regis which was very fun for all of us and, most importantly, brought me closer to my mum and dad. After the holiday they now fully accept I'm a vegetarian and that I don't drink alcohol. Also, more recently, they have begun accepting the fact that I meditate, but I've still yet to tell them I'm now a disciple. I'm might write more about this in yet another post.

I'm also in the process of finally buying a house after renting all these years. Mortgage all sorted just got to wait for contracts to be exchanged. So this is an exciting and busy time for me, but I'm not feeling stressed about it all, thanks to my meditation. I'll blog more about this as it happens.

All in all, since February, this year has been a very good year and I have never felt  happier or more contented with my life. There are some major changes going on in my life, but it is all very exciting and I'm  positive about everything that is happening.

Well that's it for the moment. Peace, love and happiness to you (the reader) and everyone.

Thoughts

I would like to be happy, but I cannot be.

I would like to have my own views & opinions, but I cannot.

I would like to talk to people without being scared that they might shout at me or give me a lecture about what they think is right or wrong, but I cannot.

Why can people not accept who I am?

I need to sort out and understand these few problems before and can fully continue on my path. I do feel that these thoughts are what are holding me back and they are a major obstacle.

Toast & Works Christmas Party

Haven't posted for almost a month as there has not been much to report. My meditation has been up and down, but I would say progressing steadily, and I would say I am being more accepting and mindful in my day to day life without realising it. I do feel that I no longer have to think too much about staying calm, happy and relaxed as it now seems to come naturally to me.

Toast
On the 11 December I went with Robert to the monthly get together at All Saints church hall in Penarth. Although we are not part of the church and never go to the services, we do go this once a month as it is somewhere where the children can play and the parents / children can have a decent breakfast - bacon and egg sandwiches, cereal, fruit, etc. and it's all free with a small donation toward the church. This time Bernadette was not up to going so I went on my own with Robert. Normally I would feel uncomfortable about taking Robert on my own and not want to go, but when I got there I used some of my mindfulness and I really enjoyed my time there and chatted to one of the parents.

In the afternoon, at the same church, there was Christmas crafts 2 hours for the children, where the children can make different Christmas themed crafts and listen to a telling of the nativity. This time Bernadette joined us but I would still normally feel uncomfortable about going to the church, especially when the read the nativity and said a prayer. But I used the prayer and story as a meditation and I felt really happy and relaxed after it.

But, my biggest test was yet to come, the Works Christmas Party.

Works Christmas meal @ Studley Castle

My works Christmas meal was at Studley Castle in Studley on 15 December and, originally, I was going to drive up on my own but Matt (a work college) said he would pick me up from Cogan train station so only 2 cars went up. As it was only 6 out of 15 went from my office, 3 in each car. This was going to be an interesting works do as I am now a vegetarian and I don't drink, so I wasn't too sure how I would cope.

We got there for about 6.30, delayed in traffic and after Matt had a quick shower we went down to the bar to meet everyone. It was a free bar, all drinks was paid for by ROK! So Matt asked what I was drinking and after a brief pause I thought, going then I'll have a pint of lager. It took me an hour to drink that one pint and I didn't enjoy it, also by time I finished it we sat down for the meal.  I had a goats cheese encroute, which was very nice, and I avoided drinking the wine on the table.

After the meal there was a disco, which was not very good, only a couple of people bothered to dance, and most people then went to the bar. After my first pint, all I drank all night was a few glasses of coke and an orange juice. It was a very interesting experience staying sober whilst everyone else was slowly getting drunk, some more drunk then others.

By time I went to bed at 1.30 in the morning, I felt very good and pleased with myself that I had the control and will power not to start drinking, even though everyone else around me was. I would say today proved an amazing success on my path to enlightenment and proved I do not need a drink to have a good time and mix with people at social gatherings.

Mindfulness Meditation and cycling

I have been back with Vicki for the past 2 weeks doing level II of the Mindful Space meditation course and I am glad I went back. I thought I have been practising mindfulness but now I realise I have been a bit lapse with it lately. It has also been good to be back with Vicki and to see some friendly faces from the previous course. Since going back I have started feeling happier again and I have been incorporating mindfulness back into my meditations. Look out for a review of the course over the next few weeks. This morning was such a good example of using mindfulness on my journey to work.

Frosty Train Journey

This morning was the first bad frost of the winter, and even though everything outside was frozen, I still decided to cycle into work. Wrapped up warm, with a thick coat, gloves and hat I left my house. During the ride from my house to the station, which is only 2 minutes away, I didn't really notice much as I left the house a bit late and had to rush to the station.

On the train I decided to read a bit more of A Path with Heart by Jack Kornfield to improve my knowledge of mindfulness and Buddhism. Although I was getting adsorbed in Kornfield's views about meditation of the breath, I happen to look up as the train was passing over the viaduct across Porthkerry Park just outside Barry. It was then that I hand an amazing mindful moment. I normally like looking out at this point anyway, as to one side you've got the view across the park and trees and the other side is an amazing view across the Bristol Channel.

I don't normally notice the view that much, I enjoy it but I don't really appreciate it. This morning the sky was what brought it all back. There were clouds in the distance and below the clouds and above the hills of England was an amazing orange sky. There was rain falling in the distance and this gave the sky a more mystical feel to it. Also, the fields were white with a thick layer of frost that gave the park a festive feel. Just wish I had my phone ready to take a photo of the view, but by time I thought about that the train was across the viaduct and the view was blocked by trees and house. For the rest of the journey I continued reading but was determined to be more mindful of my cycle ride from Llantwit Major to my office.

Mindful Cycle Ride

Wrapped up nice and warm, with the crisp, fresh air against my face, I started my 3 mile cycle ride up the country lanes to my office. As I left Llantwit Major the first thing I noticed was the cold air against my face, the only part of me that was exposed to the elements. Normally I would be uncomfortable with this, but using mindfulness I welcomed the experience and explored all the different sensations I felt. After a while I soon forget about the cold and continued my journey.

The next thing I noticed was the crisp, white frost covering all the hedgerows and fields. Also, I noticed how bright the morning sun was, still low in the sky and with a hint of warmth, shining through the gaps in the hedges. I was more noticeable of my shadow as I chased it up the lanes, never quite catching it. Along with glorious blue sky dotted here and there with clouds reminded me that winter was definitely on it's way. But, instead of thinking all the negative aspects of winter, I started to enjoy the feelings and emotions I was getting. The feeling of the cold against my face and the comfort of the warmth from my coat. The feelings of happiness to be able to experience this wonderful morning from on my bike and not inside the car. It made me feel happy to be alive.

I'm also more mindful of the sounds I experience along the way, and I start noticing sounds that I would normally miss. I firstly notice dogs barking from the kennels as I pass them, cars travelling along the road in the distance and the odd sheep bleating in the fields. But this morning I noticed the sounds of my trousers brushing against the bike as I pressed down on the peddles, the sounds of the tyres travelling across the frozen leaves of the lane, the sound of my breath as it was entering and leaving my body. As a result, I thought I would do the rest of the journey mindfully.

As the gradual, uphill climb to my office began, my focus turned from the sights and sounds to my body. I noticed how my breathing was changing, getting quicker and more laboured as my body started exerting against the climb. I noticed how cold the air was entering my body and the warmth of it leaving. I felt all the muscles of my legs straining against the peddles, pushing me closer and closer to my office. I noticed the warmth of my body increasing despite the cold, frosty air. I allowed my self to embrace and welcome all these feelings and slowed my speed to enjoy them even more. I then expanded my experience to take in all the surrounding country side, the sights, sounds and feelings, to such an extent that I almost felt one with the entire world.

Renewed Mindfulness

It has been a few months since I had such a happy, mindful experience cycling to work that I had almost forgotten the feeling of bliss and joy I get from it. Recently, my journeys have simply been a pleasant, and occasionally not so pleasant, ride to work with now joy of the experience of cycling the wonders of the world around me. I feel so invigorated and renewed, I now know that I am on the right journey. I now feel that the next few months are going to reveal something special, that my meditation and the path I following are going to introduce me to more amazing and wonderful experiences.

Christmas Shopping!!!

It's that time of year again. The Christmas lights have been switched on in the centre of Cardiff and are slowly appearing inside and outside of houses, children are starting to get excited about Father Christmas coming, and there is a buzz in the air. Is that buzz a feeling of peace, love and happiness? Of coming together of families and friends to share this special time? Of people putting aside their differences and arguments and making the world, or at least their homes, a better place to be?

No, it's the time when you are bombarded with adverts on TV, radio and magazines for the toys that children can't live without, the perfume that your loved one must have to show that you love her, the new sofa you must buy (delivered in time for Christmas) and the endless list of gadgets and gifts which you must rush out to the shops and buy now! Also, I read a story on the BBC News website this week Christmas toy market faces China crisis! What are parents going to do? There will be so many tears on Christmas day if the children don't have the latest toy, Buzz Lightyear again apparently, because the TV said they must have it and that Christmas will not be Christmas without it. We are obsessed with commercialism and spending money we haven't got, no wonder the world is in the state it's in.

It's also the time when people start asking that question - "Have you done your Christmas shopping yet?" And sometimes you get the proud person saying, "I've done all my Christmas shopping, in fact I bought most of it over the summer." Why do people feel the need to go out and do Christmas Shopping? And why do they have to go out search through all the shops on the high street (and the virtual high street on the big WWW) to try and find that perfect present for their loved ones, friends and family, sometimes resulting in spending too much money to get that perfect gift?

I've got to admit, I have done it in the past and this is the time of year when I normally start worrying (and I am starting to worry) about what can I get people for Christmas, especially my family. And by time Christmas actually arrives I'm so stressed up by the Christmas Shopping and thoughts going through my mind such as "Will they like the gift I bought them?" and "Have I done the right thing?" that I don't really enjoy the holidays and time spent with people I love. If I turned up at my family's house on Christmas day without a gift for any of them, does that mean I love them any less? Would they would think that I don't love them? Would they be appalled that I didn't buy them a gift?

My greatest gift from people to me is not the latest, most expensive, iWhatever or the aftershave set which I might never use, but the thought that they are happy and that they have made the time to come and visit me. Despite all this, I will be getting presents for people this year because it is nice to give gifts and see the happiness it brings them, but I'm going to try and buy (or even get) something from the heart, and not just because it is on sale in a shop.

What is also going to be difficult this Christmas, and it also applies to my 40th birthday next year, is that I don't drink alcohol any more, not even a glass of wine with a meal. People are going to say "Go on, have a drink, it's Christmas" and some may even think I'm strange because I don't drink alcohol. I no longer need alcohol to relax and have a good time. Thanks to my meditation I can be happy without it.

This is something else we are bombarded with on TV. That we must stock up on crates and crates of beer or wine, as well as an excessive amount of food, for the Christmas holidays. It doesn't help when the big supermarkets sell alcohol at greatly reduced prices to encourage people to drink more at Christmas. In my opinion, excessive drinking of alcohol has caused more trouble than necessary. I'm not saying that people shouldn't drink alcohol, I used to appreciate and nice glass of real ale from time to time and I understand the pleasure you can get from it. But a lot of people don't drink alcohol just to enjoy the taste. What I don't like is when people drink alcohol for the sake of drinking, and also with the aim of getting drunk. I've done it and I've never like the end result, me acting stupid and waking up feeling dreadful (the dreaded hangover) and regretting, or not even remembering, the night before.

This year I'm spending Christmas with my wife's parents in North Wales and I feel that my family think that this is wrong and that I should be be staying in Cardiff to spend Christmas with my them. My family can see me and Robert whenever they want to, but because Bernadette's parents are so far away (about a 5 hour drive / train journey) then they don't get to see their only daughter and grandson as often as they would like. Also, they will be on their own this Christmas as some of their family are over in Australia visiting relatives, so it would be nice for them to spend Christmas with their daughter and grandson. Is this wrong?

People may say I'm starting to sound like Scrooge saying "Bah Humbug" to Christmas (thanks Charles Dickens) and they ask me "Where's your Christmas spirit?" (in a bottle?) But far from it. This year especially I want to enjoy Christmas more than ever, I'm just fed up the commercialism and the constant pressure to buy this or do that this Christmas. This year I'm going to use my mediation to really appreciate my time spent with family and friends and, hopefully, fill their Christmas with love and happiness as well.

Tŷ Hafan Christmas Star Appeal

Every Christmas is precious; most will spend the morning opening presents, then watching their favourite Christmas film and of course, veg’ing out with the family! For some children and young people in Wales, who live with life-limiting conditions, every Christmas is made extra special by their families, because quite simply… it could be their last.

Why not do something special this Christmas. Don't go to the shops, instead make a donation today to Tŷ Hafan's Christmas star appeal and send a message of love, support and encouragement to the children and families that Tŷ Hafan will be caring for this Christmas.

Songs of the Soul

What a wonderful day. I took the day off from work to go to the concert and used the time in morning to spend it with my wife and son. It was a nice, relaxing morning with a visit to the school Robert will be going to next year. We then took Robert to nursery and I then spent some quality time with Bernadette, relaxing before my journey to Bristol.

I said goodbye to my wife and left for Bristol at about 3:15. Apart from being stuck in traffic when I got to Bristol, the journey was very pleasent and a good sign for what I was about to experience at the concert. I arrived at St. Georges at about 5, not knowing really what was going to happen. I went in to collect my ticket and noticed people were already there, a few I recognised from the 24 hour track race. There was also free food (vegetarian) on offer so I grabbed a plate of rice and a vegetable dish, which was what I needed after my journey across Bristol.

Charana and Prabhavati arrived at about 6, so I went with Prabhavati for a cup of coffee in the Boston Tea shop just round the corner from the music hall. We took our seats at about 7:15 and quickly people started arriving and it looked like it was a sell out (well, the tickets were free) - OK a full house.

The concert itself was amazing, I can't fully think of enough words to describe what I experienced at the Songs of the Soul in Bristol that evening. What an amazing, wonderful and inspiring concert. The music and singing was filled with so much power and soulfulness that I left the concert renewed, filled with so much peace, love and happiness.

After the concert I stayed for a coffee and a chat and was told there was a group meditation going on in the hall. What an amazing experience this was, to be meditating with so many other people. The amount of love and happiness that was in St. Georges that night was amazing. I didn't leave until gone 11, but I was so relaxed and happy that I had a good journey home.

I would like to thank all the musicians and signer for putting on such a wonderful show and thanks to all the Sri Chinmoy followers for making this concert the success it was.

Flu, Energy and Hotels

It has not been a good 3 weeks since my last post. My energy levels have hit rock bottom and I have had flu-like symptoms for the past 2 1/2 weeks or so. I even missed a day of work because I felt so bad. As a result of my lack of energy I have been struggling with my meditation as well as my day-to-day activities. I think I'm now over the worst of it, just a bit of sinus congestion and that seems to be improving so hopefully I can start getting back on my journey again.

The past 3 weeks have not all been bad, I had a very nice 2 day break, just me and my wife, at the Aviator Hotel in Farnborough right next to the airfield. We both hadn't had a break for a while so we arranged with our son to stay with his 2 great aunts in Tadley, just outside Basingstoke, so we could both have a chance to relax and spend some quality time together. We treated ourselves to a luxury 2 night stay in the Aviator Hotel in their Sky Studio Air suite overlooking the airfield so we could watch the private jets take off and land. It was a very successful short break. We had a wonderful time, the room and hotel was amazing and, most importantly, it gave me chance to spend and enjoy some time with my wife. It done us both the world of good and I even managed to get some meditation in whilst I was there.

I have been catching up on my reading, I'm currently making my way through A Path with Heart by Jack Kornfield, which was recommended reading for the Mindful Space meditation course I went on earlier this year, see my earlier blog post on Mindfulness Meditation. This is proving to be a very thought provoking read and is helping me get back into my meditation and mindful ways.

I'm still meditating every Monday with Charana and Prabhavati and studying the philosophies and Sri Chinmoy. Next Wednesday (10 November 2010) I'm going to Bristol to watch the Songs of the Soul. It is a concert of Sri Chinmoy’s heart-warming, soul-stirring music which has been acclaimed and celebrated by musical giants including Ravi Shankar, Leonard Bernstein and Quincy Jones. Over his lifetime, Sri Chinmoy offered almost 800 concerts around the world, all of them free of charge, in the belief that the inner peace and happiness he sought to convey through his music was everyone's birthright. I shall add a post to my blog with a review of the concert and my thoughts.

I have also singed up for an advanced Mindfulness course, again with Vicki, at Insole Court in Cardiff, after she emailed me asking if I would like to come along to it. As I would like to advance my meditation and I feel I am stuck in a rut with it a bit, I thought it would be very useful to do another course, also it would be good to see Vicki again and have a chat with her about how I'm progressing. Unfortunately I have to miss the first class next Wednesday as it clashes with the Songs of the Soul concert, but I can make it to the rest of the classes.

Noble Eightfold Path

Just an afterthought from my previous post (Impatience, Unhappiness, Superfoods and Facebook), the journey I'm on consists of me following the Noble Eightfold Path:

"The Noble Eightfold Path (Sanskrit: āryāṣṭāṅgamārga) is one of the principal teachings of the Buddha, who described it as the way leading to the cessation of suffering (dukkha) and the achievement of self-awakening. It is used to develop insight into the true nature of phenomena (or reality) and to eradicate greed, hatred, and delusion. The Noble Eightfold Path is the fourth of the Buddha's Four Noble Truths; the first element of the Noble Eightfold Path is, in turn, an understanding of the Four Noble Truths. It is also known as the Middle Path or Middle Way." (quote from Wikipedia)

The Dharma wheel

The Eightfold Path consists of:

1. Right View
2. Right Intention
3. Right Speech
4. Right Action
5. Right Livelihood
6. Right Effort
7. Right Mindfulness
8. Right Concentration

I find that the use of Facebook does not help with following this path as sometimes it can affect me too much and divert my from my true path and feelings. This is why I am refraining from using Facebook until I have got a better grasp and understanding of all these elements. Then, if I return to Facebook, I will be able to post and respond with the right frame of mind.

Impatience, Unhappiness, Superfoods and Facebook

I know my journey would never be easy and fast, but I'm starting to feel impatient that my destination seems a long way away, almost out of reach. One of my major obstacles in reaching Enlightenment is coping with my day to day life and the people I meet. Over the past week I have been finding it difficult to relax and accept what is happening, even my meditation isn't helping and I am struggling with that.

Recently, I have been letting friends, family and strangers upset me too much and this is bringing me down, almost to the point I was at the beginning of the year. I am going to have to be more disciplined when it comes to my meditation, as I have been a bit lapse with it lately and this is probably why I'm feeling so low. I am also not sleeping again and this is making me more tired through the day.

As a result of almost falling asleep in work and wanting to spend the entire weekend in bed, I am trying to overcome my lack of energy by improving my diet and eating more "Superfoods." I have bought a packet of Super-Formula +plus - a 100% natural food supplement consisting of vitamins, minerals and phytonurients. It's ingredients are organic pre-sprouted barley, organic barley grass, organic wheatgrass, Hawaiian spirulana pacifica and organic acerola. When mixed with oat milk (a drink I really enjoy over cereal as an alternative to cow's milk) it makes a horrible looking green drink, but it does actually taste better than what it looks. Lets hope it works.

I have also been posting on Facebook occasionally about how I feel and I also do like to leave comments in response to my 'friends' status updates or posts the leave. This is normally quite fun and relaxing, but as soon as you leave a comment someone disagrees with then it goes from being just a bit of fun to something more serious and even upsetting. I do enjoy posting messages and photos on Facebook and reading comments left by other people, it can also be a nice little tool to find out what's going on and arrange meeting with friends and associates. If used correctly it can be fun and informative. But lately I have felt it has been too much of a distraction along my path (the Noble Eightfold Path) as I  have been letting certain comments upset me too much, so as a result I have now deactivated my account.

Maybe in the future when I am more relaxed and at peace with myself and the world, I might reactivate my account. But at the moment I am having enough trouble coping with the 'real' world and I don't need any more hasle from the 'virtual' world of Facebook. "We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves", quote from Dalai Lama, also:

I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. In my own limited experience I have found that the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the principal source of success in life. Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. The key is to develop inner peace.

As a result, I am going to focus on receiving happiness and peace when I meditate.

Peace and happiness to you all.
Stephen